Guest: Surviving Wedding Season: A Simple Guide For Friends Of The Bride

Apparently, summer is the season of love. According to The Knot, June, August, September and October are the most popular months for weddings. With all the upcoming nuptials, it can be tough on friends of the bride. Navigating bridal showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaid duties and even wedding guest planning can feel like a juggling act. Before you tear your hair out, take a deep breath and follow this simple guide to get you through wedding season.

Calendar Carefully

If you think a wedding is just one day of celebration, you’re dreaming. As soon as you hear your friend is engaged, it’s time to flip out the calendar and clear your schedule. Depending on your role in the wedding and how close you are to the bride, you’ll have to plan for the engagement party, dress shopping, bridal shower, bachelorette party, all those bridal shows she wants to drag you to, brunch dates to pour over wedding magazines and, oh yeah, the actual wedding day. All of this can get especially dicey when you have more than one friend getting married.

Gather dates and obligations as soon as you can to add them to your calendar. Be flexible, but also let your engaged friend know of any prior commitments you have on your schedule as early as possible so she can keep them in mind while planning. It can be helpful to print out a wedding checklist or scheduling template from The Knot, Real Simple or Pinterest. These are designed for brides, but can be handy for bridesmaids organizing their calendars.

Apps Are Your Best Friend

Keep your smartphone or tablet with you at all times (like you don’t already). It can be your best friend through the wedding anxiety. Some of the best wedding apps are for bridesmaids and groomsmen. Mashable compiled some of the most helpful apps:

  • InTheMo is a personal concierge for planning a bachelorette party or night out in any city
  • WedPics is a great way to share your professional wedding photos and invite other guests to view and share their own
  • WeddingSpeechBuilder can help you conquer your stage fright with a database of quirky jokes and one-liners that are perfect for your reception toast

Search your app store for other helpful apps to handle everything from searching the wedding registry to a mirror app that lets you check your face before the photo shoot starts.

Finances and Frugality

According to a survey by the XO group, it costs approximately $1,695 to be a bridesmaid. Your budget may not necessarily match the extravagance level of the wedding, but there are ways to save money while fully participating in the matrimonial activities. Glamour recommends voicing any financial concerns to your fellow bridesmaids up front. For decorations, accessories and bridal showers, work together to find bridal sales or take the DIY route with inspiration from Pinterest or Etsy. Skipping the professional hair, makeup and spa days can save a couple hundred dollars as well. Remember you don’t have to buy the most expensive gift on the bride’s registry either. A thoughtful or personal gift will be memorable and appreciated, or you can go in on a more extravagant gift with friends or other bridesmaids.

Offer To Help

While being a bridesmaid can be stressful, remember it’s your friends special day—and she is probably freaking out twice as much as you are. The Knot recommends being specific when you volunteer to help instead of simply asking “What can I do?” Offer to stuff invitations, pick up dry cleaning, help with decorations or chauffeuring relatives. No matter what role you play in your friend’s wedding, keep it simple and you’ll have a great time.

la bare, joe manganiello, male stripper, shocked woman, ScRhyne, interview

Joe Manganiello’s La Bare, Reveals All

So I had an interview with some cast members of Joe Manganiello‘s new documentary La Bare.

These guys left nothing to my imagination as they talked about the life and culture of being a dancer at a very popular male strip club in Dallas.

BackGround:

La Bare is the most popular male strip located in Dallas, Texas and has been entertaining ladies from all over the world for decades. I sat down with Channing, Cesar, and J.D – three real life entertainers who work at La Bare and star in this documentary.

I started off asking Channing, who is the youngest of the three, his experiences becoming an exotic dancer and what a rookie can expect when they enter the business.

It’s more than just women, money, and a good time, like the famous line from Magic Mike; these men train and diet like professional athletes, promote themselves like entrepreneurs with business cards and clientele list, hours of choreographed training– and they don’t take kind to newbies who think they can get by with doing the running man on stage.

“First thing you have to do, is go to the gym and stay quiet at first so the veterans don’t give you shit. Don’t bum rush it,…watch the veterans until you find your ground.”

Cesar chimes in, “it’s [strip clubs] a pretty open field, if you have a decent body…and you’re brave enough to get on the stage every night. The fact is, our doors are always open.”

And anyone can test their bravery on amateur night, which is described by the guys as its own animal where everyone from bad bet pickers to Chippendale hopefuls sign up for a chance to prove themselves. Many, like Channing and Cesar started out as servers, before taking a chance on a Thursday night in front of 30 or so women and co workers!

Channing, also known as the shirtless wonder, had a nice awkward experience that rivaled his high school musical days, (no duh?) and Cesar was just glad he hit all the beats on stage.

stripper, male butt, money in g-string

Courtesy of La Bare Film

So what is the real difference with female dancers and male dancers? I asked J.D, since he commented in the film that women with big titties and decent looks could easily get a job as dancer.

“It has to do with the clientele, there’s no comparison– everything is different except both are wearing underwear.”

The truth is that La Bare dancers do more than just dance. They interact with their audience, sometimes taking women on stage to be part of show and that takes a lot of confidence. Confidence that takes experience and motivation to find.

la bare, strip club, male stripper, prformance SCRhyne

Courtesy of La Bare Film – Cesar playing “doctor”

They are not just pole dancers– not that anything’s wrong with that.

“…I’ve taken a pole dancing class, its nothing to downplay.”– Cesar.

This kind of lifestyle seems like a whirlwind fantasy, but really what you may not know about the men of La Bare, is that they have families. They are fathers, sons, and maybe even grandfathers who go through the same 9 to 5 reality you go through.

Even the strongest of them, is still as frail as the next human.

“So how do you find that boundary between ‘fantasy’ and ‘reality’?” I ask.

Cesar- “Because of the nature of the business and flirtation, its very difficult to have blended relationship in the clubs. It can be difficult because people want more of your time and attention and its kind of difficult keeping your balance in those regards.”

bachlorette party, male strippers, cowboys, S.cRhyne La Bare, Channing, J.D

Courtesy of La Bare Film

So what’s next?

J.D – “Supposedly a TV Show on the way, it’s highly possible.”

Fans, go to theaters Friday June 27, 2014 to watch La Bare. I’ll be visiting the club that night! ;-)

Meet the guys from La Bare on their Facebook pages!

Channing

Cesar

J.D

A Proper Lady

I spent this weekend going through old crap and memories, until I found a book that I had not seen in years, it was an etiquette guide book, that was given to me when I went to a modeling school here in the city.

Now that I think about it, it was more of a finishing school.
finishing school, the reporter and the girl, S.C Rhyne, interracial blog, barbizon, modeling
The booked talked about etiquette over the phone, dinner parties, and other social interactions.

Thus, part of me began to wonder when did I stray from the path of becoming a proper young woman?

Somewhere in the last 15 years or so; I stopped playing piano and abandoned any aspirations of continuing a professional path with it, I started biting my nails and skin to the point of Dermatillomania, and this guy has a better posture than me:
hunchback, etiquette, the reporter and the girl, ScRhyne
The idea of course, of being a proper young lady, is that you are more desirable and attractive to the eligible bachelor.
loser, dating a loser, the reporter and the girl, interracial blogger, ScRhyne
No, not him. This guy:
eligible bachelor, dating, the reporter and the girl
A few years ago I liked this guy in my swim class, and I finally brought my best friend to…”check him out” and she gave her approval of him.

I remember at the end of class  after running a pretty good drill, I got on deck and gave him a “high 5″. Afterwards, my friend suggested that since I liked him, I should not have high-5’ed him as it was not lady-like.

Apparently, with D cups, shoulder-length hair, and hips to knock J-Lo of the deck, he’d associate me as “one of the guys”.

I did give him my number, and after that never saw him again.

Well, its never too late to improve yourself; from sitting up straighter to changing your wardrobe. But it was last night at a gala, when I realized why many women do not act like proper ladies, it’s because of… the men!

Duh-duh-duh

A colleague invited me to this formal event, where I was lead to my seat and he pulled it out for me. He offered to get my drink, and women and guests were served dinner first. Thus, it was a code of conduct that the men be gentlemen and serving to their lady partners.

I sure felt like a noble lady as even my table manners dramatically improved from:
poor table manners, bad etiquette, black woman eating, the reporter and the girl
to:
pride and prejudice, formal dining, table etiquette, relationships, the reporter and the girl
It sometimes takes a small show of courtesy or respect to boost one’s esteem and consciousness. And to receive the same treatment in kind.

And whom you are with makes a difference; people treat you based on how your friend/partner treats you.

Whether its holding your coat or pulling our your chair — a waiter will show you an ounce more of respect when they see your partner doing the same thing — it screams: “She’s important!”

And it changes how you see yourself, and the expectations you have for yourself.

For now, I’ll read through that book, maybe there are some things I need to re-learn, and should come to expect for myself.

So, does your beau treat you like a proper lady?

The Power of Rejection

I have rejected a number of guys in my short lifetime.

From all those “Drive-by Hollas”

hollering from a car, picking up girls, shenanigans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’d sometimes Hollaback.

gwen stefani. hollaback, hollering from a car, pick ups

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But that’s as far I would take it. Just say “hi” and keep it moving.

Used to be a time, when I’d go to the club and there was always a guy or three wanting to dance:

dancing guy, old white guy, funny guy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And maybe buy me a drink:

And then eventually ask if I ‘d like to…have some sweet stuff:

skittles, condom, sex, love-making, funny condoms

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But a few Fridays ago, I finally decided to come out of the cave and soothe my primal needs. I had been distracting myself with other activities, until I felt that I was ready to be “out there”. Last June, my male friend tried, unsuccessfully, to hook me up during a fun night out. But I felt it too soon and the handsome man was too married.

But now its been about…18 months, but whose counting? So I thought I might give it a stab. I have even been lurking around my old online profile;  but I don’t think I want to go back to the site again.

So nonetheless, my wingman takes me out to several bars in Manhattan along the Upper Westside. With some liquid courage, I was able to start some pretty good conversations and even shamelessly touch and caress the targets’ arm to signal that I’m ready.

Turns out, no one was ready.

I was rejected about three times that night, ( I think twice from the same person).

The last guy I ended up having a great conversation with…I think. Well, I remember the most about him. Including the fact that he just broke up with his girlfriend earlier in the week.

Boy can I pick ‘em?

So I spent the latter part of the night, encouraging him to “talk about it” and trying to console him because I think he was gonna cry, or maybe just really annoyed with me.

I’m not sure when I got home or how.

drunk girl, falling down drunk, intoxicated
But I did, and some days latter, I had to admire my shit-tastic luck.

I am now in the category of women that are educated, self-supporting, a few years shy of 30, and single. The likelihood that I would get married by 30, and biological clock nonsense, doesn’t apply to me anymore.

I mean let’s face it, if I can’t drunk guy in a dive bar at something o’clock to go home with, then what are the chances of having a real relationship?

An old acquaintance of mine, has been seeing this douche, dude, for like 6 or 7 years off and on. He constantly tells her he wants a future with her and blah blah…but then they break up. Usually because he does some dumb shit, and then they do their own thing for awhile and circle back to each other through hooking up…blah blah blah.

That’s not a real relationship, and who would want that drama of being “the sure thing.” You know the girl that waits patiently for her man to finish sewing his wild oats.

For a time I hoped for a reconnection with the reporter, but I realize now that I’ve gone through a metamorphosis and realized that I’m not the average woman who would follow the same plain Jane path.

I’m in a category all my own that can be defined by my standards. And not centered around someone else.

We’ve all been rejected, including my acquaintance who has been rejected multiple times by the same person. You’d think she take the hint….but nonetheless, it took a hard rejection for me to understand what it means to live.

So I’ll  go out again in another few weeks, and this time focus more on living and having a good time, than chasing tail.

Living Single:

sex and the city, living single, girls night out,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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