So Jon took out a dating ad

Lol, I actually don’t think it’s Jon, it doesn’t look like his handwriting and that certainly isn’t his number.

So apparently dating and relationships have become so difficult to navigate, especially here in New York City as you guys can imagine by reading my story, that this poor soul decided to take out an ad.

Well…it’s not an official advert, as I’m sure it exceeds the 200 character limit, and its handwritten and has been posted on the A and C trains and on bus stops and poles on the busy streets of Brooklyn. Apparently this guy may not have heard of this thing called the internet a place where, if you play your cards right, you can find a date any night of the week.

Seriously, do you know how many free dating sites and dating services there are?

Thousands…and they can match whatever specific niche you fall into such as: LGBTQIA, Christian, Goth, Ayn Rand/Libertarians, Vampiricists, Sugar daddy/baby (and this is just one site!!), and so on…

I wonder which niche this guy falls into?

Let’s break down the ad.

“One Nite Stands Only”

Hhhhhhhmmmmm……off the bat, there is already something wrong if you’re incomprehensible in asking for a one night stand.

He also very specifically outlines what kind of dates he will go on with you: Library, window shopping (he won’t buy you anything), Dutch dating (nooooo….he ain’t taking you on a trip!), You get a choice to be dined and wined at any of these particular establishments: McDonalds, Wendys, Popeyes, or Subway’s EAT FRESH! Except that they don’t serve wine…..

Or you can have an “ice cream and cake” date, or a soda date, or maybe just coffee date.

Well, I am an ice cream and cake girl myself…so this is rather tempting!

And you can’t see it but on the outer edge the note says “Females Only!!” So sorry guys, I know this offer is just too ridiculously good to pass up!

But the one thing that got me, was the “Maybe romance” on the bottom edge of the corner? I mean come ooooonnnn….why not go all the way? Well, that definitely doesn’t sound like the reporter.

So what do you guys think? A prince in disguise?

He’ll take you to all the romantic spots that every girl looking for a one “nite” stand likes: the zoo (gotta pay for your own ticket), the library, and a soda date.

Would you give him a call, or send him an email?

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Ultimate richness - Spiced orange & grand marnier pound cake

6 Replies

Reblogged from petitedecadance:

I don't know what it is about pound cakes that's so good....maybe it's the in between-ness of a cake and a pastry, or the soft texture that just goes so well with milk or tea, or the variety of flavors...I don't know. I just know that its great. And you know what else I know is great? Grand Marnier. I know this because its given me plenty of fun, in margarita shape.

Guide to Men for Women Who Can't Tell Us Apart

2 Replies

Reblogged from On Thick Ice - The Spurious Imaginings of Reality:

It is so common to overhear a woman say "why can't I meet a nice guy?" while she is pretending I don't exist. I felt it was about time someone laid out some fundamental knowledge about men so women can stop making poor choices in their love life. So here are some useful facts, not in any particular order, to help correct some misconceptions and fantasies.

Loved and lost

24 Replies

Reblogged from B.G. Bowers:

I have tried so hard
I have given so much
bared my soul
and exposed my heart

You have manipulated
You have been devilishly cruel
and calculated

I have loved and lost
You have merely lost.

Written 1996

Just a poem written by a writer who knows how I'm feeling.

Health Warning! Do NOT shampoo in the shower

164 Replies

DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!

It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning!

I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label this warning; “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”

No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It’s label reads, “DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”

Problem solved! If I don’t answer the phone, I’ll be in the shower!

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Nice Girls Finish Last Too!

77 Replies

This is in response to Eva Finn’s post “Nice guys finish last, not because…”

So a lot of guys came out of the woodwork– a bit defensive, stressing the guy in the story wasn’t really “nice” and arguing what constitutes a “nice guy” or a “gentleman”.

Well maybe at some point, Jon was a nice guy or you were a nice guy, or that juror number 6 was a nice guy too; but you know what all the “nice guys” have in common? They met their Queen B who opened them up and set their hearts on fire while they were still breathing.

And girls, you know this has happened to you too! You have been stomped on and may have even lit a match yourself.

We were all “nice” once–

when we met someone that we thought as being special, connected, kindred souls. You poured your heart into doing everything to make them happy. Take them out on fancy dates and venues, lavish them with gifts for special moments, maybe write little “Have a nice day” notes for them to surprisingly find in his/her lunch bag. And for a time being you were probably the nicest guy/gal on earth.

Did you:

Tipped the waiter an extra 10%, even though they fucked up your order?

Slipped that homeless dude a c-note, cause you know, he’s all out there on his own.

Got sideswiped by a soccer-mom putting on her mascara and not paying attention to the light that turned red? “Oh, don’t worry it’s just scratch.”

Let your employees out early cause its such a beautiful rainy day with freezing sleet; and you think folks should make it home in time to curl up with their loved ones?

Yeah. We were all nice folks.

And for a little while I was a nice girl too.

Until the day you wake up with an ice cold blade in your chest because the one closest to you had betrayed you. And now you have no heart.

Now everyone and everything around you can go to hell in a hand-basket, and shit! They better stay there if they know what’s good for them!

Nice folks finish last because they’re dead. Someone, last night, ripped their hearts out and left them bleeding in their beds.

And now all that’s left is the assholes eating each other up.

Courtesy of DateHookUp.com

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My "comical" dating history

6 Replies

Reblogged from lisa laughs:

My history with love was... pretty rough. :oops:

I went on a lot of first dates, crushed on unforgivable bad boys, was admired by creepy boys, admittedly broke a few hearts and indubitably HATED men/relationships by the age of 24. I even bought Greg Behrendt's, He's Just Not That Into You when it first came out because THAT'S how lost I was.

TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperman!

Personal blog about an interracial relationship between a New York City reporter and a girl, based on a true story.Tune in each Friday