Sigh….Men Problems

men

For those of you that have been following me for the last two years and change; ya’ll know that I have been living single with no plans in the near future to change that.

I have not actively dated nor seek men to date; my roaring twenties are starting to die down, yet I do not feel any need to settle down or find someone. I like being alone.

Not too long ago, I had a brief winter chase from a man at work who was pursuing me, but he had too many problems and I believe I effectively nipped that one before it got too far.

That’s fine, just leave me the hell alone.

leave me alone, alone, sketch, S.C Rhyne

Two months ago, I just so happened to answer the phone to a man who works in the real estate industry. He needed help with the bureaucratic red tape he was getting from a city agency about the numerous permits he requested for a little league he manages.

It was nice to talk on the phone for 45 minutes with him, because frankly there was work to be done and it was a nice distraction. He called nearly everyday since that, but I thought it was because he was anxious about hearing whether the permits went through or not.

And of course, like a good government employee I ignored some of those calls until I got an answer from the agency and was able to give him some good news. His permits are fine, everything is fine.

He was elated and 45 minutes later we hung up. Now at this time (February) I was planning an event for the community and he came to show support, which was really nice. I did know somethings about him, like his long career in politics and he is now the “community face” for this company and heck, a good person to know, right?

I mean when you’re young and trying to network and make moves, its good to know people in senior executive places. However, what I didn’t realize was that this guy was trying to make moves of his own too!

A few times we talked after work hours, and the conversations were appropriate, — in fact if I remember correctly, the first night we talked he told me explicitly he was not interested in being more than friends, but he was surely a talker — 2 to 3 hours worth!

The vibe I got from him was that of someone who was really lonely and who wanted someone to vent to.

So my good cousin advised me on setting proper boundaries and assured me that no man would be on the phone for hours with a woman while only interested in talking.

We met in person once during my vacation in March for lunch, in which I told him I was interested in networking for professional reasons; he did push to spend more time with me, but I did not. Again, I’m not interested in monopolizing my time for someone.

A few weeks ago, when we had a couple warm days here and there, he invited me out to his boat; he had talked extensively about his hobby, but I have only known this guy, at best, two months. Plus, I don’t want be alone on his boat all day with him. He said he wanted to spend more time with me and I feel like we had gotten to known each other well enough.

So here are some issues:

He’s 54 years old, and I’m still in my roaring twenties.  There’s not really a conflict of issue as he does not do any business with my agency; but I’m not attracted to him at all, I think he’s a great mentor but that’s as far as it would go.

Last week he called two days in a row, well after 10p.m! Not even my mother would call me at that hour unless something was wrong. And judging by his tone of voice on the answering machine there wasn’t a fuck wrong, and I sure as hell wasn’t in the mood to talk aimlessly into the wee hours of the morning.

Alas, we are in different stages of life. He is a senior exec with liberties to work from home, come into the office at 11 a.m without owing anyone an explanation and can drive home to sit on his boat or pour himself a scotch. I’m not there yet, I don’t have all this luxurious time; I work overtime — below minimum wage with a 3 hour round-trip commute everyday, with enough money left over to pay this bill or that bill. So I’m in bed at 10 o’clock, not on the phone.

Sorry to vent, but it does look like he is getting the point. In one of our last conversations, he did mention that he knew nothing personal about me, because I always seem to talk about work. So he asked if I’m dating or had dated, and I told him the truth and tacked on that I’m not interested in dating anyone in the near future. Period.

I emailed him my resume and cover letter last week. He gladly confirmed that he received it, and would pass it along to a friend.

So has anyone ever been in this position and had to toe the line? I want to hear about it.

@ReporterandGirl or Facebook

4 Date Night Ideas to Replace Boring Old Movie Night

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Turn your weekly date night into a romantic rekindling of love or do something silly and new together. Choose new activities that go beyond Red Box to something more unique and thrilling.

Studies show that when you tailor your date to something of more substance, you stimulate your brain’s reward system and ignite the love that brought you together in the first place, according to intimacy specialist and professor of social psychology, Arthur Aron. So, reconnect with your significant other by shaking things up on an alternative date night.

Ask the 36 Questions

Create interpersonal closeness with your partner by turning to Aron’s famous list of 36 questions for a unique date night. Discover a deeper connection and level of intimacy by becoming vulnerable in your self-disclosure. Go on an afternoon picnic, sit together next to a stream or get a table in a romantic restaurant and ask each other each question in order. You will undoubtedly learn something new about your partner no matter how long you’ve known each other; you might just learn something about yourself, too.

Questions begin innocuously with questions such as “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” Then, they become more weighty and personal as you move through the list.

Have a Costumed Night Out

Who says you can only dress up as your favorite movie character or super hero one night of the year? Defy the rules of Halloween and date night by finding a great couples costume to wear for a little fun together.

Decide together if you’d like to dress up as bikers, go to a biker bar and role-play all night; or find two Despicable Me minion costumes to roam around town in. Either way, you are sure to have fun breaking away from the same old dinner-and-a-movie idea.

Make a Fort

Build a blanket fort and hide away together. This will be your fortress for the evening (and next day if you so desire). The living room or backyard are ideal locations for your love lair. Give some thought into the architecture of the fort as well as the romance you bring inside. Although they are not necessary, consider bringing red light strings, champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, music, flameless candles and rose petals.

However, some essential supplies include:

  • Sheets and blankets
  • Pillows
  • Safety pins, clothes pins or rubber bands
  • Flashlight
  • Twinkly lights
  • Snacks
  • Entertainment

No handheld electronics are allowed inside your fort unless they are playing music or a movie. Together create your den of love, and enjoy the outcome all night long. And, this might be the ideal time and place to ask Aron’s 36 questions.

Pretend to Be Tourists

Strap on a fanny pack because you two are going to explore your city, tourist style. Don your favorite Hawaiian shirt (you know you have one) and put on your walking shoes. This is your chance to grab your guy and get into the city. Go downtown to see the sites that are not often visited by locals, but frequented by tourists. Take pictures in front of the gothic cathedral and the famous statue or any other silly landmark. Then, turn those pictures into a collage you can cherish forever.

How to Break Your Partner’s Smartphone Addiction

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First off, congratulations to @joti67, for winning the #ShoppingSpree at NecessaryClothing!!

Long gone are the days when only those prepared to fork over hundreds of dollars in cash could purchase smartphones. Now, everywhere you turn someone is bound to have a smartphone in their hands perusing the web, updating social media, sending a text message or checking their email. And, with deals like $0 down for an iPhone 6 from T-Mobile, the number of smartphone users is only increasing.

While these devices are great for getting work done on the go and filling free moments, there’s one big problem — scores of users are addicted to their phones and don’t even realize it. And, for those in romantic relationships, a smartphone obsession can be a sore point.

How do you know if your partner really is obsessed? If being without a smartphone triggers symptoms of withdrawal, then there’s an issue, professor of psychiatry David Greenfield tells CNN. If you think your partner might have a problem, here are some warning signs and what to do about them:

Texting and Driving

If your partner never puts his or her smartphone down while driving in case a social media notification or email alert comes through, he or she might have a problem.

It’s obvious the texting and driving PSAs didn’t make an impact on how dangerous this behavior can be, so remind your partner that the fatality rate while texting and driving is greater than that of teen drivers. Also, share that more than nine people are killed and 1,153 injuries occur every day due to distracted driving, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

Non-Stop Gaming

You may notice that your partner never seems to stop playing Clash of Clans, Candy Crush or any of those other time-sucking games and that you never seem to have his or her full attention.

As an alternative, try whipping out a good old-fashioned board game, such as Monopoly or Trouble, to bond with your partner in real life. Besides, playing with you should be more enjoyable than competing with total strangers.

All-Hour Usage

Your partner may have a hard time not responding to every message, email and alert, even if they come through at all times of the night. But, this can harm your relationship, especially in those moments that have the potential to get hot and steamy. In fact, a recent survey from NPR indicated 70 percent of women felt smartphones were interfering with their romantic relationship.

To resolve this issue, you may want to propose that smartphones be stowed away during alone time and turned off at night. This way your there isn’t a temptation to interrupt your together time and you both can get some well-needed rest.

Text Communication

The problem with text-only communication is that the human factor and intimacy is missing from the equation. A study from Oxford University reveals that couples who use five or more electronic channels of communication are 14 percent less satisfied in their relationship. This makes sense, considering a text or instant message is devoid of a smile, frown, chuckle or warm embrace.

Communicate with your partner in person and explain why the constant texting and messaging bothers you. Hold his or her hand and show why the face-to-face communication is better for your relationship.

Smartphone technology can be great when used in moderation. It can help you navigate new cities, find new things to do, work from different locations and stay in touch with your loved ones. Just make sure you and your partner’s smartphone use doesn’t get so out of control that you no longer pay attention to each other.

Please send a congratulations tweet to @joti67!

@ReporterandGirl

TheReporterandTheGirl

Good Pain

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I woke up this morning with what I reluctantly describe as good pain.

The spot under my armpits are sore, there’s a part of my hamstrings — right under the gluts– that feels like its about to pop out.

And I feel like I may have broken my neck during my sleep.

With the exception of that last part, every other muscle ache is due to good ole exercise in the gym from the day before.  Pain that will eventually fade as I kneed, stretch, massage, and rework the muscle. I’ll train my muscles and joints with more exercises until it sinks into memory.

But what really is bothering me is the uptick in temperature, the longer solar hours, and accumulation of dust on my furniture.

Its Spring.

While most of us are happy to leave old man winter behind (so am I!), there is something in my muscle memory that brings back a slight ache and throb. I like to blame it on the traumatic experience of having to stuff all my sweaters in a crate and haul the damn 30 pound (13.6 Kg) box up a flight of stairs into the attic and lifting it overhead onto the top shelf.pain, good pain, S.C Rhyne, inspirational quotes

Yes! I worked out all winter just to do Spring cleaning.

But its something more than that.

Its the season of going out of hibernation and socializing. Perhaps even meeting new people or starting new relationships.

Its was during this time I met Jon and broke up. I even lost my job in the summer too.

But while I’m still happy single, it sucks because my coupled friends (best friend and cousins) will be out and about with their partners — probably having ice cream while walking along the boardwalk, or going to the movies to see the 22nd installment of the Fast and Furious series, or whatever it is that people do nowadays as a couple. Oh, have sex. Lots and lots of hot and sweaty sex that fills the humid air with screams and moans to be heard by the single people like me next door.

But pain is just a reminder of your survival, and as long as I have summer Fridays at work; I’ll survive. Until next year, old man winter.

Share the love and share the pain. What is your good pain story?

@ReporterandGirl

TheReporterandTheGirl

Shopping Spree Contest Ends Tuesday!!

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Last chance to win the $100 shopping spree of Necessary Clothing’s online store.

http://necessaryclothing.com/

This giveaway is only open to U.S Residents and to enter all you have to do is follow and tweet me or post on my Facebook fan page the phrase:

Take me on a #ShoppingSpree @ReporterandGirl for 100 bucks! #BlogContest

So remember to follow me on twitter or like my fan page and post that phrase! You can visit the trendy retailer’s website at http://necessaryclothing.com/

Blog contest will end March 31st.

@ReporterandGirl

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4 Projects for 2015: Renovations With Return

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If you and your partner have been thinking about ways to boost the property value of your home, now’s the time. The Wisconsin housing market took a hit a few years back, but after seeing the market results for 2014, particularly in the southeastern region, there’s anticipation of a major bounce back in 2015. According to predictions by BizTimes, the metro Milwaukee area may end up leading the nation in home sale prices this year with an estimated 4.9 percent increase. To jump in on this action, here’s a list of four manageable projects to improve the value of your home this year.

Garage door replacement

Replacing the garage door is one of the easiest, inexpensive improvements you can make. Plus, you can do it yourself. If you have a standard 16×7-foot door and tracks, the only thing you have to do is remove the old door and tracks and install a new four-section door, one with updated, galvanized steel tracks. Most of the time, you can reuse the existing motorized opener. With some new nylon rollers and galvanized steel hinges, you’re in business.

A new garage door adds curb appeal and a certain level of security in the eyes of potential buyers, plus a 10-year limited warranty never hurts.

Adding a deck

Another DIY project with a high return-on-investment (ROI) is building a new deck. The average 16×20-foot deck is composed of pressure-treated joists propped by 4×4 posts, and can be completed in as little as a weekend. Using a simple linear pattern, and including a decorative built-in planter or bench offers an artistic flare and visual appeal to any interested buyers.

Although this is a project you can do yourself, you’ll still need heavy machinery. Don’t underestimate the time and money you can save by renting the proper equipment, as having to re-do your work or hire someone to fix mistakes will have you kicking yourself later. Rule of thumb: commit to quality the first time to avoid any issues later.

Adding a garage

Adding a garage is a bit of a craps shot in renovation because individual buyers have individual needs and desires, but in the northeastern U.S., with its inclement rain and snow, a garage can make or break a deal. On average, a two-door garage should be between 20 and 24 feet wide and between 22 to 25 feet deep. If you plan to use the garage as a selling point, you may need the help of professionals for this. Adding electrical, plumbing and air ducts for heating and cooling would definitely increase construction costs, but but buyers will see the potential of converting the space into an additional habitable room should they have no need for a garage.

Repaving the driveway

Like the garage door, the driveway is also one of the first impressions your home will make on any interested viewers. And while it can be a DIY project, it’s not an easy job by any means. The old driveway will need to be removed in order to lay the new materials. Once again, having the right equipment is crucial.

The majority of driveways are concrete. It is not the most stunning of materials but it is durable, inexpensive and requires little maintenance. Plus, concrete is simple to lay. The average cost of a concrete driveway is around $3,540. Hiring pavers will naturally drive up the cost, but they can add detail to the laying, like stamped or colored concrete, if you want a more customized look.

This year is full of housing market promise, so when opportunity comes knocking, make sure it’s on a new door.