The Inbetween Stage

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So a couple weeks into my funemployment, things are not so fun anymore. I am officially an applicant to my first choice university and this week I will bang out another application as well as look for a potential supervisor at a couple of other schools.

Applying to doctorate programs is much more than filling out an application. I have to write 2,000-4,000 words (not including bibliography) research proposals for each program. But before I can do that, I have to informally reach out to a professor and see if they have any interest in the topic that I am proposing. If not, then I might as well move onto the next school. One program that I started looking into last Wednesday has over 100 professors in their political science department! Luckily, I have until September to apply for that one.

As I bang out these applications, I am now in the “waiting stage”. Waiting for an acknowledgement, waiting for an interview, waiting for a letter, waiting to exhale. And this is the stage where I start to contemplate my decisions and how irrational I may have been to do this.

Meanwhile, the start-up for a part time job is coming slow. I did the training and now I’m waiting for the HR stuff to come through. Hopefully by next week I can start. I also hope to start writing chapters to my sequel in July!! I had already started on a couple, but I want to wait until I have a fair amount before I start posting weekly! I’m also reading a whole lot more smut, so my creative juices are flowing…no, not those juices — at least not yet!

I have also made an effort to “get out more”. I recently attended a masquerade event held by Seeking Arrangement at Stage 48 in midtown. I was disappointed by this event. It was promoted as way for members of the site to meet in person, but it seemed like everyone there had already came with a “friend”. Or maybe there was an imbalance of more women than men–good for him but not for me.

Also, Stage 48 is a club open to the public, but it seemed like they opened the party to the public too. A couple of guys that I danced with didn’t even know that this was a private (paid) event. They just saw the lights, heard the music and paid the cover charge to come in. I wouldn’t recommend another one of their events.

Now, what have I learned in the last few weeks? I definitely have been happier, less stress and dreaming bigger. All this has made me realize how soul-crushing my last job was. Strange, because it didn’t start out that way…but somewhere along, it became apparent that I was devolving. So leaving is a huge plus, and I feel more creative and inspired, and did I mention happier? I’m still worried that my plans may not pan-out. Getting into a school will be tough, so I have to prepare myself for some rejection while staying positive for an acceptance.

I know that it will take time (like 3-4 months before I know for sure where I’m going), so patience and engaging hobbies are the way to go.

So are you in a transition point in your life? How are you dealing with transitioning and what are your dreams for the next step?

Tell me @ReporterandGirl

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Romance on the Road: The First Road Trip as a Couple

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You’ve experienced the first date, the first kiss and now, it’s time for your first road trip. Road trips are an adventurous and exciting way to travel and explore with your significant other. You want to ensure that the special memories you’re making are full of joy and not clouded by stress or conflict. Take some time to consider the various factors involved with your expedition, keeping in mind any potential clashes of preference you and your honey might have, so you can be prepped for a worry-free, fun, unforgettable trip.

The Route

If you’re hoping to keep your road trip spontaneous and flexible, jot down a skeleton route plan of the roads you’ll be taking. Checking road and weather conditions before you embark is wise, as you don’t want to be stalled in traffic or held up by road construction. One thing you shouldn’t leave up to chance is where you’ll be making pit stops for fuel. Plan to stop for gas about every 200 miles, depending on the gas mileage and tank size of your car, so you can ensure your safety. will provide you with the cheapest stations to fill up, wherever you are. A real damper on the trip would be running out of gas in a no-cell-service area where the nearest town is hundreds of miles away! Just a little prep will allow you to have the fun and surprising experience you’re looking for.


Car snacks can be a lifesaver when you are both hungry and frustrated, in search for your next meal. You don’t want to become a hangry (hungry/angry) monster around your new love, which can happen to the best of us. Non-perishable goodies like trail mix, energy bars, meat or vegetarian jerky, and water are great staples to always have stocked in the car. To prevent any squabbles over what kind of meal you’ll be eating, plan to alternate who chooses the restaurant and type of cuisine you eat. Even if you both feel like you’re very easy-going when it comes to food, it is great to give the other person control and maybe they’ll even introduce you to your new favorite food.


You can either set up your lodging prior to taking your trip or sort it out, day of. If you don’t want to restrict yourself to a timetable with a concrete destination, bring along a tent for camping. Practice setting up the tent, before you leave for your trip, so the two of you aren’t in a frustrating situation of pitching a complicated tent in the dark. If you’re hoping to find cheap lodging, do some research before you leave to determine what towns have better bargains than others.


Engage with your significant other in new and exciting ways through activities that are specifically related to the culture or region you are visiting. Visit local visitor centers to see what the town and surrounding area has to offer. To get the real down-low on what to do, ask the locals — stopping by a cafe or bar and picking your server’s brain could give you some great ideas. This road trip is an opportunity for the two of you to learn more about each other and will likely reveal many things you may or may not have in common. You should each take turns planning an activity for the two of you to do — whether it’s surfing in the Pacific Ocean for the first time, or visiting a beautiful vineyard with out-of-this-world wines — so you can share your passions with one another. Remember to approach the activities with an open mind and be prepared to go out of your comfort zone — it’s all about sharing, supporting and compromising. If you are eager and open to trying new things, you’re bound to have an incredibly fun and unforgettable time!

So tell me about a road trip you took with your partner!

@ReporterandGirl or on Facebook

I Quit My Job

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I had given three weeks notice to my boss and eventually told everyone else on staff, one-by-one that I was leaving. Friday was my last day there, and it felt real and flew by all too quickly; even though the week had felt slow.

I still felt like there was one or two more ends I needed to tie up, but alas, my direct supervisor told me that most of my day-to-day work that I listed on my exit document was low priority and she wasn’t worried about transitioning it over. Hence, I knew that I just needed to let go. After all, if I’m the one leaving, I can’t still be stressing about the work coverage, right?

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Thus, I ex-communicated myself from the calendars, project management software, shared documents, because heck– there are people on there that left six months ago that still have access to those things; and right now I need to detox a little and not have to worry about getting up at 6 a.m to check emails. Not sure, if those people are still working on projects months after they left, but nonetheless, I know I will not.

This is a huge risk, but you have to follow your dreams–or live a nightmare.

So did you quit your job this week? Or tell me about your most memorable quitting experience!

Tweet me @ReporterandGirl

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Tips to Create a Digital Scrapbook

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A couple years back, a close friend of mine followed her dreams and quit her job to move to Paris, and work in the fashion industry. She barely spoke French and has had an entry level position here in New York City. She did it for a year, and now her and her hubby are in Los Angeles so he can get a break into the music scene.

We started a diary that we would each write in for a few months then mail to each other. It is past due for me to mail the diary back, but I must say….I have a lot to tell her!

So imagine you and your closest friend have been BFFs since grade school. You’ve weathered boyfriends, breakups, and breakouts together, as well as first jobs, cars, and apartments.

Recently, your BFF broke the news that she is moving to a new city. She got a great job offer that she just couldn’t pass up, and within a matter of weeks, she’ll be settling into her new home.

While you have promised to visit each other as much as possible and hold marathon texting sessions, you want to give your best friend something tangible to remember you by — and something that she can look at whenever she is feeling lonely. Thanks to the magic of digital scrapbooking, you can create a beautiful memory book to present to your BFF.

The following tips will help you get started:

Digital Scrapbooking 101

Unlike traditional scrapbooks that use paper and plenty of printed photos, a digital scrapbook relies on the computer and some graphics software to create a gorgeous memory book. You can use a combo of clip art, photos, notes and more to make the digital scrapbook, which can then either be printed out or emailed and stored on your computers.

Gather Your Photos

Before getting started on making the digital scrapbook, organize the zillions of photos that you have of the two of you and your many adventures. You can use your scanner to transform old Polaroids into digital files, and if you have saved old postcards and other tokens of your friendship, you can take photos of them with your phone.

To make sure that your precious work is not lost in the event of a computer crash, save all of your files on a cloud server as you go; this way, you can still access all of your work in case your laptop stops working.

Create Your Own Template

As The Daily Digi notes, it is fun and relatively easy to create your own template for your digital scrapbook; the website offers easy-to-follow instructions that even newbies can tackle. To start, purchase a photo editing program like Adobe Photoshop Elements 13 from Amazon; this will allow you to organize your photos and edit them, as well as create and share your digital scrapbook. For the best quality, use a 12-by-12 sized page with 300 dpi and you can experiment with either white or colored backgrounds. Using the text tool, add in your titles and notes, and then start dragging the photos and other images onto the pages. Be sure to save your work as you go—both to your computer’s desktop and to the cloud server.

Work with a DIY Scrapbook Website

If you are unsure about using photo editing programs, simplify the process a bit and work with a company like Shutterfly; the website has templates built right in that you can select and use to create your digital scrapbook. The site also offers plenty of help and tips on how to upload images and make everything look just perfect. When you are done, you can order printed books of your masterpiece, or send it electronically to your BFF.

Tell me about you long distance friendship @ReporterandGirl or on Facebook!

Insight into the Everyday Man


From a woman’s point of view

So last night an acquaintance of mine hosted an event called “insight into the everyday man”. This featured a panel of three men bravely taking questions for over 3 hours from an audience of fifty women! And these are tough New York urban women, mind you! They asked everything from “Why do men lie?” to “Bare vs. Bush” (my question!). In a nutshell, we spoke about some very hard issues and learned that men aren’t as complex or care about the same things that women do. I think a lot of the questions revealed the insecurities that women have (“How can I get him to marry me?” Or “how do I get out of the friendzone?”) and why these answers can be solved by communication.

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TOP: Organizers and Panelists of the event “Insight to the Everyday Man” Bottom: Audience members engaging with panel

Having a Conversation

A man’s reaction to a tough conversation about your relationship can tell you all you need to know about where you both are heading, or not going. Men have fears, but they aren’t taught to express those fears. So when you bring up the conversation about the future or commitment and if he reacts angrily, silent, or defensive– then that is a major red flag that your beau isn’t interested in moving with you further. Yes, men get scared, but a guy that wants to stay with you will get over that fear and communicate that. Very few guys are willing to come right out and say they don’t want to commit because they fear our reactions and hey,

**Bitches be Crazy** cheating boyfriend, girl smash cars, break up, dating, S.C Rhyne

But the point is, many of our questions of what is going on in his head can be solved by having a conversation. You should be listening for what he DOESN’T say, as much as what he DOES say.

Standards or Pressure

So when I walked into the event, I was late and walked into the middle of a conversation about why it was so tough for women in New York City versus the South to meet nice men. One of the gentlemen answering was comparing his dating experience from the West Coast and the South, and concluded that the women up here put “more pressure” on guys. From his point of view, he could understand why — meaning some of the B.S we have to put up with, but sometimes the pressure can be too tough, or women are too difficult to approach. I of course, had to intervene and ask, “Pressure or Standards?” Women (as well as men) should have standards.

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I’m a very blunt and honest person and I expect my partner to be similar too. That’s one of my standards. So, if I feel that someone is making excuses or half-truths, then he isn’t living up to what I expect. Now, some standards can be unrealistic (tall, dark, rich, handsome, and not older than 30) while others are more reasonable (intellectual, provider, honesty, faithful etc…).

One woman, who claims that she is a lawyer, felt that she can only date men who are financially better off or work a white collar job in typically lucrative professions (doctors, lawyers…etc). It was her claim that these men were more intellectual. She has dated the bus driver with sexy abs but who had an empty head. And well, she hasn’t met a stupid doctor. She slipped up and said, “To me, if a man is working in that field [blue collar] then he’s not smart, because an intellectual person would want to build their wealth.”

Well, in today’s market the legal industry is actually over-saturated with lawyers as she should know, and many grads are having a tough time finding a job. Never mind one in a lucrative practice. Meanwhile, many folks who work for our city’s Metropolitan Transit Authority, not only have college degrees but do so in mechanical engineering and yes– a bus driver can make 100K a year with overtime. She interjected that it was the exception rather than the norm. I clarified that her point was a stereotype and not a fact. Anything based off a personal experience is a stereotype. A viewpoint. A bias. Period.

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But I digress, standards— we need to clarify what is necessary and what isn’t. I remember when I was with Jon, he claimed to enjoy “stimulating intellectual” conversations, but his idea of intellectual was based on science fiction shows, and not real life science. Thus, one can only judge someone’s intellectual capabilities only to the level as smart as one is.

Going Forward

So I want to introduce the moderator of this event, his name is Jason Grae. He did an excellent job providing his own input and kept the forum moving. You can find Mr. Grae on Facebook. There will definitely be more events here in Brooklyn, which I hope you can all make. However, if you can’t, you can still ask a question to gain insight to the everyday man. Do you want to know what men think, and why they do the things they do (or don’t do) in relationships? Well, email me a question to reporterandthegirl at gmail (dot) com or you can post it in the comments section. I will post each question with Grae’s response! You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, and G+

Memorial Day – Baking, School, and Tribulations


Wow, so it is the end of a much needed long weekend here in New York City. I usually spend at least half of these weekends at the gym, but these last few days were different.

In the last few weeks I decided that it was time for me to go back to school, and pursue an advance degree. Thus, I have spent my free time researching different graduate programs and their requirements, as well as sprucing up a 1,200-word personal statement. I just completed this statement about two hours ago.

I’m hoping to have my proposals and statements written, edited, and rewritten in the next few weeks, so I can just start applying and applying to various schools. Most programs start their application period in August, but a couple I can apply to now– so hopefully by the end of 2015 I will know where I’m going.

It is a tough decision, but I have been out of school and working for 5 years, and my last couple of jobs — I felt “stuck”.  Meaning, I come in and I do a great job, I get promoted and some more money; everyone is happy with my work blah blah blah, but I don’t seem mobile, like I hit a ceiling or something.

Well, my first job ended in lay-offs, which I recently found out that on my second anniversary of leaving, the organization will close for good. I’m not facing lay-offs now, but I’m in the same place where I started last year, and although I acquired a lot of skills, some of these I don’t see myself using in the long term. Thus, what am I getting out of my current position, except for a paycheck?

New York City is competitive, there are tons of people walking around with B.As, M.As, and all kinds of BS; so maybe a PhD will give me more of an edge, especially since I have a better idea of what I want study and what field I want to work in. As well as being a student will open more opportunities, like internships or fellowships etc….

So I’m feeling optimistic! This is the first in a long time. I even tried a red velvet cake recipe for the second time –without any dye — and I’m proud to say it came out red, moist, and frosted with a yummy traditional ermine frosting.

Thus, I wish you all a happy end to this Memorial Day weekend. A day we remember why we are here; our hopes and dreams and the chance to capture them!

I hope you have your cake, and eat it too!

@ReporterandGirl or on Facebook at TheReporterandTheGirl

Destination Ideas for Adventure-Themed Weddings

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Adventurous couples everywhere are turning to more fun options for their upcoming nuptials. Take Cheetah Platt and Rhian Woodyard, for example; rather than spend their money on an average ceremony and reception in California, they plan on having 38 unique wedding ceremonies across 11 states this year to declare their love to one another. If you’re looking for out-of-the-box wedding ideas, look no further; here are six destination weddings that cater to the adventurous couple.

A Wild Ride

Las Vegas is known for chapel weddings officiated by Elvis, but that’s been done too many times. However, you can still reinvent the Vegas wedding ceremony — you just have to know where to look. At the New York New York Hotel and Casino, couples can get married in a taxi. This taxi doesn’t take you to city hall, though. It takes you for a loop on the Big Apple roller coaster. Take the ultimate plunge in this 15-minute ceremony and roller coaster ride that will be different than anything you’ve ever done before.

Head in the Clouds

Weddings on land are so overdone, and it’s hard to hear vows under water. Take your party to the sky, with an up-in-the-air wedding ceremony and reception from Dinner in the Sky Events. Twenty-two guests are strapped in chairs on a rectangular dining table that rises 180 ft. in the air. The bride and groom are positioned in the middle of their guests, so they can easily communicate with all attendees, swap rings and even have their first dance.

The Great Outdoors

Many couples dream of having their wedding outdoors, and nature certainly makes a beautiful backdrop. Destination weddings are especially popular for this reason. If Mother Nature is calling you, she’s probably calling from Canada. With multiple lakes and campgrounds to explore, this is the perfect time to turn your wedding into a weekend getaway for your friends and family. Plan some adventurous activities, but just make sure you take the extra steps and precautions to keep everyone safe. If you plan to be out on the water, you’ll need a valid boater’s operator card as well as enough life vests for everyone.

Hitting a Homerun

Need a venue that holds a ton of guests but isn’t a stuffy, outdated banquet hall? Try a baseball stadium. Stadium seating provides the perfect view for all attendees, and it couldn’t be more practical in the off-season. If you and your honey love America’s favorite pastime, just imagine the possibilities for a baseball wedding: a big fuzzy mascot as your DJ, Cracker Jacks and beer for your cocktail hour, and racing sausages seeing you off to your honeymoon. It doesn’t get wilder than that.

Safari Sweethearts

Tau Game Lodge, located in the Madikwe Game Reserve of South Africa, is known for its luxurious accommodations. A truly unique wedding venue, the lodge takes care of everything — from dinner to hotel rooms to safaris in open land rovers. The lodge can be completely rented out for the happy couple and 60 of their closest friends and family members along with resident wildebeest, impala, lions, buffalo, elephants and more.

If you both love adrenaline and hate conventionalism, the ideas listed above are just the beginning of how far wedding ceremonies can go for adventurers. Use your imagination; no matter how crazy it might seem, this day is all yours and you should spend it exactly how you want.

So what is your dream wedding destination?

Share with me @ReporterandGirl or on Facebook.