We Rode High.
Being with Jon was like getting into a vehicle without any doors. You think it’s more fun that way because you’ll experience the wind in your hair better otherwise. And for the most part, that makes sense in our reality.
Our first Saturday in Washington Square Park; we were the most disgusting couple you have ever met. From brunch at an overpriced European craphole bistro to sundown at the red light district; arm-in-arm holding shopping bags with a logo on the front that I can only describe as the cat’s meow (Jon actually would stuff our purchases in his messenger bag later on…very self-conscious).
We were disgusting to look at. People couldn’t eat near us and had to look away with their food. Little kids hurled and made gagging noises on the playgrounds when we passed by. Grandmothers hissed and covered their eyes when they saw us coming. Not even the Evangelicals would approach us on the corner as we waited to cross 6th avenue.
And I loved it.
You lose track of time when you’re down in the rabbit hole……and your mind slowly dies from the lack of oxygen. This is love: wondering around with an atrophied brain.
He snuck up and kissed me. I wrapped my hands around his waist from behind. He kissed my hand as he was holding it. He would suddenly stop and twirl me, which I didn’t particularly care for….I can’t wait to see him naked!
There’s nothing but pure filth in the rabbithole.
You’re swimming in it, drinking it, and breathing it in as you work your way through. And it’s intoxicating; you can’t go back to where you started so you stupidly trudge forward. At this point I couldn’t remember who I was before I met Jon. What was I doing with my life?
And so we rode high: with no doors at 300 miles per hour.
We grinned like idiots at each other. When he kissed me, I pecked back. He grabbed my neck, I’d grabbed his ass. He’d pull my hair and I’d twist his nipple- the left one.
On the train ride to his home, I made him sit. “I want my baby to be comfortable…” After all, he worked so hard to pick fresh asphalt from my sandals. I took his cap off so I could wipe the sweat from his head. I caressed his hair back exposing a receding hairline – A kissable spot!- I took advantage of the exposed skin.
At the apartment, Neil was sitting in the main room watching television. We hustled to Jon’s room to browse through our purchases. Our quiet night soon became more hands on, and I heard Neil leave moments after Jon started wailing….
After a bit, Jon was lying in my arms as I sat up on the bed. After a few minutes he went to use the bathroom, and it was almost eleven o’clock.
These trains don’t stay express all night – I thought
So I grabbed my bag and waited for Jon in the hall.
Jon – “You’re leaving already?”
Sabine – “Yeah…it’s late and the trains are gonna go local, It’ll take me forever to get home…I’ll see you next week”
Jon – “OK, I had a great time too”
Sabine – “Do you want me to stay?”
Jon – “Oh if you got to go, you gotta go.”
I smiled, I don’t remember if we kissed goodbye, but he didn’t walk me to the station like the prior night.
In retrospect, I know Jon wasn’t pleased with me leaving; but he refused to tell me that night. And I wanted to stay too, but couldn’t.
But as I walked I remember feeling like it was one of the best Saturdays of my life. I was sure he had a similar feeling, but just sad to see me go, and I was sad too. Waiting on the platform I stared off into the distance.
I wonder if he’s sleeping? Or maybe on the roof watching the trains go by?
Getting on that train I couldn’t wait for tomorrow to call him. And as the train pulled away, I was taken back as the train leaned left, riding through the steep curve ahead.
Next Week: Ch 5. Danger: Steep Curve
Jon - “Well, am I the type of guy that you would have sex with?”
Sabine – “Ha ha ha, if you want to jump on that bandwagon then that’s fine, but not me…”
What the hell does this guy want?
Sabine – “So what are you looking for?”
Jon – “It doesn’t have to be this way all time…maybe ⅓ Jon and Sabine…can’t you try?”