Guest Contribution: 5 Dates to Change Your FB Status

The first five dates are the most impressionable in anyone’s dating life. If you’re a guy in hot pursuit of your dream girl, listen up. Start off on the right foot (rather than that said foot in your mouth) from date one. Saddle up for love with these six manly fashion fundamentals.

Pre-first Date — Seal the Deal

If you want to impress a quality girl, confidence is key. No matter your objective, whether you want to take a girl home or to Taco Bell, you must be a confident dude with a nothing-to-lose attitude. The single girl is already on the defense before even knowing your name. She looks for one reason to give a guy a chance, and it’s (real) confidence that will put a crack in her wall of dating fortification.

You know who you are and feel comfortable with the guy staring back at you in the mirror. Tread gently though, and don’t mistake arrogance for confidence. Narcissism or egotism will quickly end your pursuit.

Date 1 — Dinner & Drinks

Taking a girl to dinner may be cliché, but custom romantic traditions still make her swoon (or more honestly, meet an expectation). Plan to pay on the first date. Chivalry is not dead.

Truthfully, everything you say or do will be judged, so jump into the trenches with a simple outfit to help mitigate messy first-date warfare. The look of understated sexiness? A well-fitted pair of 7 For All Mankind denim jeans and a clean, casual T-shirt paired with a luxury watch, such as Nixon or the higher-end Bulgari. A sexy and confident single man who isn’t afraid of rejection invests in a good watch. A watch is the one piece of men’s jewelry that punctuates his style. Plus, you’re a man who prefers to tell time with an artful clock face rather than a glaring iPhone screen.

Date 2 — The Outdoors Test

Most men like a versatile woman. She’s just as hot in workout shoes on a mountain trail as she is in heels at the club. Date three will crush a couple barriers and determine if the girl knows how to break a sweat. Going for a hike or riding bikes reveals her adventurous and athletic side. And just as much as she may love her Lululemon yoga pants, you’re loyal to your active shades as well.

Sure, you’re a man who likes his options. If you admittedly have an entire collection of aftermarket replacement lenses for your Oakleys, save the rainbow polarized lenses for the next Vegas bachelor party. Rock the classic titanium or black-colored lenses, and you can both focus on your rad workout together, because remember, couples who work out together—stay together, forever.

Date 3 — Home Visit

Is this love? Could be. But first it’s time to plan for the third date—the highly anticipated overnighter. Invite her over for the evening and turn up the heat by cooking her a thoughtfully planned meal. The theme of the date is the seduction of aroma.

Along with the delicious scents of juicy pork tenderloin, sautéed zucchini and Pinot Noir, enhance the romantic evening with an even more arousing fragrance (you). Dior Homme Cologne won the 2014 GQ Grooming Awards, and for a rugged manly man on a quest to become the next Dan Bilzerian (Instagram’s most notorious playboy), Penhaligon’s Sartorial Beard Oil will render your girl weak in the knees and with luck, head over heels.

Date 4 — Bro Introduction

Before entering relationship territory, you’re gonna need approval. Bro approval. Plan a nightly summertime backyard barbecue outfitted with the works—chicken, ribs, sweet potatoes and brew. It’s the alcohol-infused congregation of your friends and hers. This party may as well be the mixer of your 30s, reminiscent of college fratty days.

And as the grill master on the verge of a serious boyfriend status, don’t be afraid to be more fashionably frivolous. Ditch the Vans or flip-flops for stylish suede shoes in olive green or rusty orange. Chubbies shorts in pastel and a tucked-in denim chambray will transform a pair of Johnston & Murphy suede shoes into a statement.

Date 5 — Facebook Official

Like it was possible for your friends not to like her. Now that you’ve got bro approval, turn this amour into a real relationship. Asking her to be your girlfriend doesn’t have to be formal affair; no one’s proposing here. It should, however, be more meaningful than a text or public use of a label neither of your discussed.

Make it Facebook official and initiate a sincere conversation while just hanging out in your lounge-wear. If you want to look even more endearing, throw on your favorite hat. The boyishness of a man in a sporty hat makes a girl swoon like heart-eyes emoji. She’s now yours. It’s official. Facebook official.

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Guest Contribution: The Science of Dating

The Internet is a great place to find dating advice. Unfortunately, most of it comes from those who have simply dated a lot. If you are reading this and want to get to a second date, then you do not want to date often. You want to date well. You want to do it right and maybe meet that special someone. The best place to look for dating instruction is in a lab. Science has done more good for romance than any online feedback ever will.

The Science of Attraction

Mate selection is strongly ingrained in our genetics, coming from the caveman days and persisting today. The reasons for attraction are multidimensional with influences from perceived masculinity, intelligence and facial symmetry. A British study showed the men who self-focus on muscle size are more oppressive to women and that women know this at some level. The takeaway from this study is that having a chiseled body may get you a second look but might not get you the second date.

The Science of Women

It’s not you. It’s me. As painful as this sounds, it may be true. Human beings are dynamic in nature. We change constantly. This is especially true for emerging adult females—women in their early 20s. A study published in the Journal of Youth Adolescence found that there is a strong link between subjective well-being and attraction in women. A woman that is happy will be more attractive and she will find a happy male to be more attractive. Hiding your feelings is never a good relationship strategy but leading with emotion on your first date probably will not work for the normal female.

The Science of Romance

The most beautiful thing that a woman can say to a man is that she secretes oxytocin when she sees him. Oxytocin is a hormone produced in the brain by the pituitary gland that has been found to effect monogamy in mammals. It is strongly linked to dopamine, the happiness hormone. Oxytocin actually makes a woman perceive you as more attractive. From a neurochemical point of view, the reason that romance is so important is that it creates a cyclic cascade of positive neurochemicals. Make her laugh during the date, and don’t forget about flowers. It’s always a nice gesture to get her a bouquet. If you want to send them to her place of work as a surprise, delivery services like FTD are are trusted resources. Be a gentleman, and keep that oxytocin flowing.

The Science of Love

Yes, it is time to use the L-word. As scary as it may be, if you want the second date it means that you want the third and fourth and fifth. According to researcher Robert Sternberg, there are three dimensions of love; commitment is one along with intimacy and passion. That perfect date will have components of each of these. It means sharing enough to be intimate without oversharing, being physical enough without groping and opening up the possibility that this can be forever. Let the science of dating be the foundation for finding love. Make every date an attempt at discovering happiness.

I’ve Been Around But…

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A Reflection of a Reflection by Raun

Life is Hard. Period.

I don’t really read a lot of spiritual books, but this one caught my eye as it was more about encouragement and inspiration than proselytizing.

And since I’ve been trying to piece my life one by one this past year, I thought I could use some encouragement from deep within.

As the title says this is a collection of prayers that comes from the heart of a teenage boy—who doesn’t seem to be different than other teenagers. He still has the same hopes, dreams, and fears that anyone of any age has.

Thus, I’ve been getting up in the morning and reading a prayer as I silently meditate and think about what lies ahead and how I’m going to accomplish a set of goals for the day. I feel the prose and words and realize that I’m not only one who has an imperfect life, but how I deal with those imperfections and flaws will strengthen my character.

Having those few moments to yourself before beginning your day– are fundamental in getting things back on track and relieving the stress I feel in going through another 24 hours, without him or with another obstacle in my way.

Strength and Power comes from within, and Michael Beas’s book will help you find a little of it each day.

Here is the link to Michael Beas’s book

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