Let The Good Times Roll!


And the bad ones….drop?

Wow, another crazy last few weeks for me, and I don’t even know where to begin…I guess the beginning.

I have been working for the city government for the past year in a small office of 3 employees which has slowly grown to 7. However that is not to say there hasn’t been turn-overs. We rely heavily on volunteers/interns and since I started, about 4 permanent staff have came and left; and in terms of time, I have the most seniority.

I apparently have a knack for sticking out tough situations (see Chapter 16. Frenemies) and workload juggling. Alas, it seemed like I may have had a budding romance; a gentleman, whom we will call Dave (in no way similar to his real, unique name) is also public servant but works in a different division, and since day one has been flirtatious.

According to my male coworkers, he was very flirty — I didn’t notice. And for the last few months, Dave has been taking great strides to be available for our small office…whether its calling in to check if an order arrived, or making a visit to try and fix technical problems we may have. I always thought he was a hardworking individual who paid attention to all offices like this….

Anyway, I got to know him and he seemed cool– he had mentioned he liked working out, and did I mention I like working out? So on one Sunday, a couple of weekends ago, he met me at my house at 11 a.m sharp and we drove in his SUV to the gym.

Problem #1 Off the bat, I noticed that it was taking us quite a while to drive down the main road before turning off to another main road. “Oh, you’re gonna keep going straight” I tell him. And he replies, “alright, I didn’t know where I was going.” This led to a whopping increase of 20 miles per hour (mph) to 25 (that is 33 kilometers per hour to 40). So, this is really fucking slow.

There’s no traffic. Its Sunday morning. And a drive that I can do in 25 minutes, has now taken almost 10 minutes just to get to the off ramp of the expressway that’s like a mile from my house.

So…..45 minutes later we get to the gym. And no…even when we had gotten to the off ramp of the expressway, where the speed limit is 40 and people are going 50– because they don’t want to be rammed from behind– he faithfully followed the speed limit of the residential zones.

Problem #2 No motivation. Guys, no girl likes a quitter. Now I know folks have different interests and hobbies etc…and one thing may motivate you more than something else. But when you’re out with a fellow or gal you like, you better put in some decent amount of effort to show an interest in their interests.

Now this ain’t no yoga class: its boot camp. This means jump roping for a minute straight, followed by 20 push-ups, followed by chair jumps, followed by 2 sets of jump squats, followed by sprints…etc you get the point. There are breaks during class, and anyone is more than welcome to sit out and take an extra break. Dave sat out and down after the first 20 minutes — for the rest of class.

At first he complained of dizziness and of course he should sit and I offered him water. I had introduced him around earlier, so other classmates went up to him from time to time and asked how he was doing and offered him anything; but he sat down for most of the remainder 40 minutes. At one point, he got up to do chair jumps, but that’s a waste. After starting exercise, once you sit down for that long and let your heart rate drop so low, it’s hard to do even one set.

Problem #3 He didn’t shower afterwards. Dude, I know you only worked out for 20 minutes, but you still poured sweat. You were told to bring a towel and a change of clothes and shower slippers.

Problem #4 THE SLOW FUCKING DRIVE ON THE WAY BACK! He admitted it was so he can spend more time talking to me. Well, had we gotten to gym earlier, we could have talked while we warmed up on the treadmill or did some partner stretching.

Partner Stretching:

From injuryfix.com Exercise is Fun!
partner stretching
From yogini.net.ru Assume the Position!

Problem #5 He’s lonely. We did talk and I fed him some soup. But when he told me about himself…living alone, and spending most of his time online, on computer games, at work, and not having any real friends. I summed up that he’s trying to fill a void somewhere. I live alone, and spend alot of time at work, and on the computer too, with my lovely blog family. But I also try to make time to socialize (I hang out alot at the gym) and get drunk with friends after work and few weekends drink responsibly with friends after work and on a few weekends. I’m also looking to pursue other hobbies that will take me out there, but time and money are constraining me now.

Problem #6 RED FLAG! I did call him the day after and he complained of soreness, and asked for a nurse to come over (me). We talked here and there over the few weeks and ironically, on Friday, I called to see how he was doing. Turns out that he injured his foot and had been home on bed rest for the last couple days. He started out the conversation stating, “I need a nurse, will you be my nurse?” Now, honestly when he told me that he wasn’t feeling well, I thought it was a cold or something because his voice sounded off. Now in hindsight, I’m pretty sure he was drunk. After I had redirected the conversation to talk about other things like work and the hectic week, he came back to say, “so what time are you coming over?”

Me: “I didn’t say I was coming over tonight.”

Dave: “Oh you didn’t? I thought you said you were coming over tonight, I need a nurse, are you coming over?”

Me: “Dave, I think you need doctor, you seem like you need more help than a nurse can provide.”

Dave: ” No, I already took one of those Oxycontin pills for the swelling, but I need a nurse, what time will you come over? I need you to be my nurse.”

And after three minutes of asking for a wet nurse I finally (politely) hung up.

Problem #7 This guy has too many problems. Obviously, the last thing I need is one more.

So, no budding office romance for me. But I kept an open mind until I ran the other way after Friday night’s call. So, with everything that happened in the last two years I can say I learned something. Ladies, pay attention to those Red Flags!

The Book and Spa Gift Certificate #GiveAway is ending this Tuesday March 10th. So you have until Tuesday night EST at 11:59pm to follow and tweet me either phrase for a chance to win!


Six Fresh Alternatives to Boring First Dates

You’re not alone, 102 million people were unmarried in 2011, according to the United States Census. This group also made up 44.1 percent of all U.S. residents who were ages 18 and older. Further, the dating industry revenue topples $2 billion a year with an annual growth rate of 4.8 percent. Regardless of if you’re married, single or currently dating, everyone can benefit from some fresh ideas it comes to finding the perfect date. Here’s a list of fun ideas to put the romance back in your relationship or impress someone on your first date.

bride and groom, black woman white man holdinghands, the reporter and the gir,S.C Rhyne, black and white photo

Find a Brewery Tour

Get out of your usual rut of dinner and a movie and do something truly unique. A brewery tour can take you behind the scenes of your favorite brew and gives the opportunity to sample. Most breweries will also give a few beers for free or at a discounted price so you can keep the fun going. If you’re not sure what to talk about after the tour, brainstorm your own beer ideas until your date turns into a fun adventure on setting up your own brewery with a ridiculous name. I’ll sample a Date Draft whenever you’ve got the first batch ready for sale.

beer, beer tasting, brewery tour

Go on a Motorcycle Ride

Go on a motorcycle ride through the country, city or the open highway. There’s no destination better than wherever the road takes you. But to really get into the biker spirit, shop for motorcycle jackets and accessories together to ride on your adventure out. Then come up with your own biker names and take on the persona of a young couple out for trouble—or maybe just to clean up trouble.

Volunteer Together

Refuel your relationship’s chemistry with a volunteer date. Working together for a common cause from packing up supplies for a food pantry to taking care of animals can help form bonds in your relationship. Pick an activity lasting from a few hours to an entire day and talk about how volunteering impacts your life. You might get a fresh perspective on your date you wouldn’t have seen before.

Go Stargazing

Cuddle up under the stars for a romantic date night. If you’re in a private space like your backyard, bring along a bottle of wine and snacks for an evening picnic. Don’t forget to look at museums for stargazing events.

constellations, stars, auriga, reporter and the girl, star gazing

Be a Tourist

It’s easy to forget all the fun events and attractions in your own hometown or nearby city. Plan out a fun day of amusement parks, museums, festivals or the zoo for a staycation date. Look at your attractions’ calendar of events. Your zoo might host a jazz night, or the museum might offer a cocktail evening with a guest speaker. You’ll impress your date by your ingenuity and desire to find the very best in your own community.

Watch a Foreign Movie

Head to an international food store and stock up on cultured foods to match your foreign film of choice. Cook a meal together with your date and then cuddle up together for the main event. Opt for a flick without subtitles and try to guess what’s happening and improvise the dialogue. You’ll have a great time laughing at each other’s guesses and will still have time to chat without getting too distracted by the film.

movie date, popcorn, movie



5 Remarkable Date Ideas for Couples in (or Approaching) a Rut

date ideas. BWWM couple, Interracial couple, the reporter and the girl, S.C Rhyne

If you are part of a couple, you know how important it is to keep the relationship alive. And the longer you’re in a relationship, the harder you have to work to keep an element of excitement in it. The best way to do that? A great date. Not the, “You wanna go the movies?” date–we’re talking about a unique adventure date you’ll never forget. Here, then, are five exceptional date ideas:

Rent a Convertible and Take a Mini Road Trip

Choose a destination and activity (i.e., eat at a restaurant in a nearby town, go to a remote area and have a picnic) and then rent a convertible for the day. Make sure the destination is far enough away that it gives you a chance to talk. Don’t forget rental car insurance before booking that convertible, it’s cheaper than getting it at the counter. And of course, make sure the weather forecast is in your favor.

Book a Couples Massage as Part of a Spa Package

Even really macho guys enjoy a good massage, and getting one together is a bonding and relaxing experience. Get a spa package that includes amenities like champagne and rose petals. Some spas include a treatment prior to the massage, such as a soak in a hydrotherapy tub.

It’s a time to play, before relaxing on the table!

Take a Surprise Trip to Las Vegas

Surprise your other half with a trip to Las Vegas. You can always find discount flights to Vegas, and you’re guaranteed to have a blast. Just make sure you take enough money. And if you’re lucky, you’ll also make enough there too!

Head to the Drive-In

Drive-ins are making a comeback. Take some fold-up patio chairs (if you want to sit in front of your car) or some blankets (in case you want to be, um, more intimate inside the car or in the back of your truck). You can also bring popcorn, soda and a cooler, if you don’t want to spend the money on stuff to eat.

Take a Midnight Cruise

It doesn’t have to be at midnight, by the way. You can always take a sunset cruise, as well. Google “midnight cruise” or whatever kind you want and your city. Some cruises have live music and dancing; often the ships have two to three decks, and the top one is for you and the moon. Don’t forget to make a reservation, too, as these types of boat cruises tend to get full quickly. You can also read about my experience on one of these cruises!

Make It a Habit

Every couple gets caught up in their own routine. Somehow, we forget that we need time together as a couple. Consider scheduling a regular “doesn’t get canceled no matter what” date i.e., once a week or once a month. There are plenty of dates you can go on and have a good time; try to go on ones where you will have an incredible time. More importantly, make sure you don’t forget to go on dates at all.

The Power of Rejection

I have rejected a number of guys in my short lifetime.

From all those “Drive-by Hollas”

hollering from a car, picking up girls, shenanigans














I’d sometimes Hollaback.

gwen stefani. hollaback, hollering from a car, pick ups










But that’s as far I would take it. Just say “hi” and keep it moving.

Used to be a time, when I’d go to the club and there was always a guy or three wanting to dance:

dancing guy, old white guy, funny guy












And maybe buy me a drink:

And then eventually ask if I ‘d like to…have some sweet stuff:

skittles, condom, sex, love-making, funny condoms









But a few Fridays ago, I finally decided to come out of the cave and soothe my primal needs. I had been distracting myself with other activities, until I felt that I was ready to be “out there”. Last June, my male friend tried, unsuccessfully, to hook me up during a fun night out. But I felt it too soon and the handsome man was too married.

But now its been about…18 months, but whose counting? So I thought I might give it a stab. I have even been lurking around my old online profile;  but I don’t think I want to go back to the site again.

So nonetheless, my wingman takes me out to several bars in Manhattan along the Upper Westside. With some liquid courage, I was able to start some pretty good conversations and even shamelessly touch and caress the targets’ arm to signal that I’m ready.

Turns out, no one was ready.

I was rejected about three times that night, ( I think twice from the same person).

The last guy I ended up having a great conversation with…I think. Well, I remember the most about him. Including the fact that he just broke up with his girlfriend earlier in the week.

Boy can I pick ‘em?

So I spent the latter part of the night, encouraging him to “talk about it” and trying to console him because I think he was gonna cry, or maybe just really annoyed with me.

I’m not sure when I got home or how.

drunk girl, falling down drunk, intoxicated
But I did, and some days latter, I had to admire my shit-tastic luck.

I am now in the category of women that are educated, self-supporting, a few years shy of 30, and single. The likelihood that I would get married by 30, and biological clock nonsense, doesn’t apply to me anymore.

I mean let’s face it, if I can’t drunk guy in a dive bar at something o’clock to go home with, then what are the chances of having a real relationship?

An old acquaintance of mine, has been seeing this douche, dude, for like 6 or 7 years off and on. He constantly tells her he wants a future with her and blah blah…but then they break up. Usually because he does some dumb shit, and then they do their own thing for awhile and circle back to each other through hooking up…blah blah blah.

That’s not a real relationship, and who would want that drama of being “the sure thing.” You know the girl that waits patiently for her man to finish sewing his wild oats.

For a time I hoped for a reconnection with the reporter, but I realize now that I’ve gone through a metamorphosis and realized that I’m not the average woman who would follow the same plain Jane path.

I’m in a category all my own that can be defined by my standards. And not centered around someone else.

We’ve all been rejected, including my acquaintance who has been rejected multiple times by the same person. You’d think she take the hint….but nonetheless, it took a hard rejection for me to understand what it means to live.

So I’ll  go out again in another few weeks, and this time focus more on living and having a good time, than chasing tail.

Living Single:

sex and the city, living single, girls night out,









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Guest Contribution: 5 Dates to Change Your FB Status

The first five dates are the most impressionable in anyone’s dating life. If you’re a guy in hot pursuit of your dream girl, listen up. Start off on the right foot (rather than that said foot in your mouth) from date one. Saddle up for love with these six manly fashion fundamentals.

Pre-first Date — Seal the Deal

If you want to impress a quality girl, confidence is key. No matter your objective, whether you want to take a girl home or to Taco Bell, you must be a confident dude with a nothing-to-lose attitude. The single girl is already on the defense before even knowing your name. She looks for one reason to give a guy a chance, and it’s (real) confidence that will put a crack in her wall of dating fortification.

You know who you are and feel comfortable with the guy staring back at you in the mirror. Tread gently though, and don’t mistake arrogance for confidence. Narcissism or egotism will quickly end your pursuit.

Date 1 — Dinner & Drinks

Taking a girl to dinner may be cliché, but custom romantic traditions still make her swoon (or more honestly, meet an expectation). Plan to pay on the first date. Chivalry is not dead.

Truthfully, everything you say or do will be judged, so jump into the trenches with a simple outfit to help mitigate messy first-date warfare. The look of understated sexiness? A well-fitted pair of 7 For All Mankind denim jeans and a clean, casual T-shirt paired with a luxury watch, such as Nixon or the higher-end Bulgari. A sexy and confident single man who isn’t afraid of rejection invests in a good watch. A watch is the one piece of men’s jewelry that punctuates his style. Plus, you’re a man who prefers to tell time with an artful clock face rather than a glaring iPhone screen.

Date 2 — The Outdoors Test

Most men like a versatile woman. She’s just as hot in workout shoes on a mountain trail as she is in heels at the club. Date three will crush a couple barriers and determine if the girl knows how to break a sweat. Going for a hike or riding bikes reveals her adventurous and athletic side. And just as much as she may love her Lululemon yoga pants, you’re loyal to your active shades as well.

Sure, you’re a man who likes his options. If you admittedly have an entire collection of aftermarket replacement lenses for your Oakleys, save the rainbow polarized lenses for the next Vegas bachelor party. Rock the classic titanium or black-colored lenses, and you can both focus on your rad workout together, because remember, couples who work out together—stay together, forever.

Date 3 — Home Visit

Is this love? Could be. But first it’s time to plan for the third date—the highly anticipated overnighter. Invite her over for the evening and turn up the heat by cooking her a thoughtfully planned meal. The theme of the date is the seduction of aroma.

Along with the delicious scents of juicy pork tenderloin, sautéed zucchini and Pinot Noir, enhance the romantic evening with an even more arousing fragrance (you). Dior Homme Cologne won the 2014 GQ Grooming Awards, and for a rugged manly man on a quest to become the next Dan Bilzerian (Instagram’s most notorious playboy), Penhaligon’s Sartorial Beard Oil will render your girl weak in the knees and with luck, head over heels.

Date 4 — Bro Introduction

Before entering relationship territory, you’re gonna need approval. Bro approval. Plan a nightly summertime backyard barbecue outfitted with the works—chicken, ribs, sweet potatoes and brew. It’s the alcohol-infused congregation of your friends and hers. This party may as well be the mixer of your 30s, reminiscent of college fratty days.

And as the grill master on the verge of a serious boyfriend status, don’t be afraid to be more fashionably frivolous. Ditch the Vans or flip-flops for stylish suede shoes in olive green or rusty orange. Chubbies shorts in pastel and a tucked-in denim chambray will transform a pair of Johnston & Murphy suede shoes into a statement.

Date 5 — Facebook Official

Like it was possible for your friends not to like her. Now that you’ve got bro approval, turn this amour into a real relationship. Asking her to be your girlfriend doesn’t have to be formal affair; no one’s proposing here. It should, however, be more meaningful than a text or public use of a label neither of your discussed.

Make it Facebook official and initiate a sincere conversation while just hanging out in your lounge-wear. If you want to look even more endearing, throw on your favorite hat. The boyishness of a man in a sporty hat makes a girl swoon like heart-eyes emoji. She’s now yours. It’s official. Facebook official.