Tag Archives: Dating

Dating ad, desperate attempt to find a date, the reporter and the girl, Jon's ad, Jon and Sabine date, interracial dating, one night stand,

So Jon took out a dating ad

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Lol, I actually don’t think it’s Jon, it doesn’t look like his handwriting and that certainly isn’t his number.

So apparently dating and relationships have become so difficult to navigate, especially here in New York City as you guys can imagine by reading my story, that this poor soul decided to take out an ad.

Well…it’s not an official advert, as I’m sure it exceeds the 200 character limit, and its handwritten and has been posted on the A and C trains and on bus stops and poles on the busy streets of Brooklyn. Apparently this guy may not have heard of this thing called the internet a place where, if you play your cards right, you can find a date any night of the week.

Seriously, do you know how many free dating sites and dating services there are?

Thousands…and they can match whatever specific niche you fall into such as: LGBTQIA, Christian, Goth, Ayn Rand/Libertarians, Vampiricists, Sugar daddy/baby (and this is just one site!!), and so on…

I wonder which niche this guy falls into?

Let’s break down the ad.

“One Nite Stands Only”

Hhhhhhhmmmmm……off the bat, there is already something wrong if you’re incomprehensible in asking for a one night stand.

He also very specifically outlines what kind of dates he will go on with you: Library, window shopping (he won’t buy you anything), Dutch dating (nooooo….he ain’t taking you on a trip!), You get a choice to be dined and wined at any of these particular establishments: McDonalds, Wendys, Popeyes, or Subway’s EAT FRESH! Except that they don’t serve wine…..

Or you can have an “ice cream and cake” date, or a soda date, or maybe just coffee date.

Well, I am an ice cream and cake girl myself…so this is rather tempting!

And you can’t see it but on the outer edge the note says “Females Only!!” So sorry guys, I know this offer is just too ridiculously good to pass up!

But the one thing that got me, was the “Maybe romance” on the bottom edge of the corner? I mean come ooooonnnn….why not go all the way? Well, that definitely doesn’t sound like the reporter.

So what do you guys think? A prince in disguise?

He’ll take you to all the romantic spots that every girl looking for a one “nite” stand likes: the zoo (gotta pay for your own ticket), the library, and a soda date.

Would you give him a call, or send him an email? ;-)

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Guide to Men for Women Who Can't Tell Us Apart

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Reblogged from On Thick Ice - The Spurious Imaginings of Reality:

It is so common to overhear a woman say "why can't I meet a nice guy?" while she is pretending I don't exist.  I felt it was about time someone laid out some fundamental knowledge about men so women can stop making poor choices in their love life.  So here are some useful facts, not in any particular order, to help correct some misconceptions and fantasies.

Read more… 714 more words

For those of you who found the right one, I guess this post is spot on and you can relate. For the rest of us, we will keep on chugging.....
nice girl. nice guy, relationships, single, dating, lonely, the reporter and the girl , jon and sabine, sabine dating, interracial blog

Nice Girls Finish Last Too!

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This is in response to Eva Finn’s post “Nice guys finish last, not because…”

So a lot of guys came out of the woodwork– a bit defensive, stressing the guy in the story wasn’t really “nice” and arguing what constitutes a “nice guy” or a “gentleman”.

Well maybe at some point, Jon was a nice guy or you were a nice guy, or that juror number 6 was a nice guy too; but you know what all the “nice guys” have in common? They met their Queen B who opened them up and set their hearts on fire while they were still breathing.

And girls, you know this has happened to you too! You have been stomped on and may have even lit a match yourself.

We were all “nice” once–

when we met someone that we thought as being special, connected, kindred souls. You poured your heart into doing everything to make them happy.  Take them out on fancy dates and venues, lavish them with gifts for special moments, maybe write little “Have a nice day” notes for them to surprisingly find in his/her lunch bag.  And for a time being you were probably the nicest guy/gal on earth.

Did you:

Tipped the waiter an extra 10%, even though they fucked up your order?

Slipped that homeless dude a c-note, cause you know, he’s all out there on his own.

Got sideswiped by a soccer-mom putting on her mascara and not paying attention to the light that turned red? “Oh, don’t worry it’s just scratch.”

Let your employees out early cause its such a beautiful rainy day with freezing sleet; and you think folks should make it home in time to curl up with their loved ones?

Yeah. We were all nice folks.

And for a little while I was a nice girl too.

Until the day you wake up with an ice cold blade in your chest because the one closest to you had betrayed you. And now you have no heart.

Now everyone and everything around you can go to hell in a hand-basket, and shit! They better stay there if they know what’s good for them!

Nice folks finish last because they’re dead. Someone, last night, ripped their hearts out and left them bleeding in their beds.

And now all that’s left is the assholes eating each other up.

Courtesy of DateHookUp.com

 

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the reporter and the girl, wise before 25, nice guy, nice guys finish last, relationships, dating, interracial blog, WMBW

Nice guys finish last not because they’re nice, but because they say they are

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Our guest contributor this week is Eva Finn from WiseBefore25.com

Have you ever been in a position where your friends and family are telling you that you’re too picky and to lower your standards? Well, I get that a lot. Now you wouldn’t think jury duty would be a great opportunity to meet men, but I have a girlfriend who met her husband that way. So when I was asked to perform my civic duty, I thought I should at least be open (although I did bring a book and brace myself for a day of boredom).

When I reported to the waiting area (or the holding area, as I like to think of it), I assessed the seating situation and decided upon this table that looked more comfortable than the auditorium. A guy was sitting there, whom I really didn’t pay too much attention to at first. But he was ok-looking and seemed friendly enough, so instead of reading my awesome Gillian Flynn book, I started talking to him. Because, you see, I need to start recognizing who the nice guys are and start dating them. And he certainly had that “nice guy” a.k.a., geekish aura about him.

As we started to talk, I found out he lived in my neighborhood, had a fairly decent sense of humor and not too bad of a smile. And I even found myself considering the possibility of going out with him. Until he said, “Why is it that women only go for the bad boys?” I don’t remember having said anything to encourage this comment. I think I mentioned that I was writing a blog about the mistakes I made when I was younger, http://www.wisebefore25.com, and how I didn’t want younger women to make those same mistakes.

After this question, I’m feeling like I have to start defending the female race while also being turned off at his generalization and lack of confidence. Not that we’re the smartest, or at least, I’m not the smartest when it comes to men. “Well,” I found myself saying, “Not all women like bad boys. I think that the smart ones learn how tell the good from the bad and appreciate the qualities the good ones have.” He paused and unconvincingly responded, “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

From there, things just went kind of downhill for me. The more I learned, the less interested I became. Like how he had to care for his elderly father three times a week and it was such a chore. And “even though it might sound kind of ghoulish,” he’d be moving into his dad’s place once he passed away. Or about the ex-wife he’s been separated from for 10 years “for financial reasons.” Or when I wanted to joke about the case when we went out for lunch, he replied, very seriously, “You know we’re not allowed to discuss this, right?” What a goofball.

Suffice it to say, another important thing to keep in mind, especially when you’re trying to be less picky, is that if a guy tells you he’s nice, it doesn’t necessarily mean he is. Oh, and he did ask for my number at the end of the day and if I would like to have a drink sometime.

I have a pair of underwear that says “In your dreams.” I find this philosophy applicable to many situations, especially this one.

Eva Finn
Writer and Creator of Wise Before 25, 50 Things Young Women Need to Know

http://www.WiseBefore25.com

http://www.Facebook/WiseBefore25.com

http://www.Twitter.com/WiseBefore25

Best Kept Secret in Weightloss

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I wrote an article as a guest contributor to The Sexy Single Mommys blog:

Enjoy reading!

BEST KEPT SECRET IN WEIGHT LOSS?

Here are a few key points about having a mutually healthy and beneficial relationship….

TheSexySingleMommy.net

ch14

Chapter 14: Long Road Ahead

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It’s dark and silent.

Even with my window curtain and panel opened to bring in as much August air, my room is surprisingly dark and quiet for a summer’s night in New York City. The street lights are an orange glow that seem to dim rather than saturate my room; and the neighborhood kids must have decided to turn in early.

Its Quiet.

Or maybe I fell too far down that hole again.

The car, the date, his lips, his words, but I can’t see his face. I’m in the car, he drives we hold hands, we’re going on a date; I said “So you think this is a date?”

The crash.

We crashed. He drove too fast. I held his hand, and he couldn’t—-

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wake up, to remember its Wednesday night.

Nine days ago, I told a guy that I really liked and deeply cared for that I was going speed dating to meet other single Men; in hopes that he would convince me not to…because we were an item, –because he felt things that I felt, but could not describe.

But instead he wanted to come too. So we broke things off. He changed his mind about speed dating.

This morning I sent him a text and thought that would be the last I ever talked to him, because he was too angry to speak to me.

Now he calls, and I shakily answered the phone…reminding myself I had to be strong, that I had my time to grieve and let everything out and Jon didn’t. That I was going to be an emotional punching bag for this boy that is emotional unstable. And I could dish it. Anyway, hadn’t I asked for this? For Jon to reach out to me no matter state he was in…what piece of work I…

“Hello?” I said cautiously.

“Hi Sabine, Its Jon….I’m sorry for calling so late, I was out drinking with my friends…got a little drunk”

Crap.

“Are you drunk now? Where are you, are you safe?” I asked.

“Yeh yeh..you know it doesn’t take much with me, I’m by the train station….look I got your message, I wasn’t trying to ignore you Sabine….so busy” says Jon.

“Ohhh…its ok, I guess I just felt, um —as long you’re ok” I replied.

“I know you were wishing me well with the move and everything which seemed like a good reason on your part to call…..” He continued.

My stomach knotted

I really was concerned, cause he asked for my help and I agreed, until….I wish I had called earlier maybe I still could have came to help. But I didn’t…..

“But my dad came. Its fine here, except for a neighbor that….” Jon continued.

I was boderlining between joy, elation, frustration, and sadness. I was extremely happy and sad to hear his voice, though heavily inebriated; and frustrated and elated that even though we exchanged a brief banter….it was too thin to be veiled like “old times.” Our cracked and fatigued voices, begged for answers. I desperately wanted to forget last week and just pick –

“Please don’t think I’m ignoring you, I had a ten hour day and I just wanted to sleep last night-” He whimpered.

“HOW COULD YOU SAY I BROKE UP WITH YOU?!?! I NEVER WANTED TO STOP SEEING YOU!!!…. I MISS YOU SABINE, I MISS YOU! I don’t hate you… I’m fond of you, SO VERY FOND OF YOU!….” Jon screamed into his phone.

Umm…

I now was off the fence and thrown into complete shock by his outburst. It was out of character, even for the boy that I labeled an unstable emotionally immature lonely drug addict (In case you missed that chapter), to just “lose it.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you were hurt, you seem ok…and I reached out” I stammered.


“I’M

NOT

HURT?!!

YOU think I’m NOT emotionally wounded?! I AM, SO THERE! YOU WOUNDED ME!” He retorted.


“I’m sorry Jon, I wasn’t trying to do that…I don’t know, I never wanted to break up, I like you too. So much more than you understood.” I pleaded.

It was true….sober or drunk I don’t think Jon would have ever understood how much I cared about him. Its too deep, not even I understood the roots of the being that grew to consume me mind, body and soul. I’d give up any one of those for him.

“NO! You were just using me!! And you were MAD at me!!!” He accused.


“I don’t- using you for what?” I asked. Really tell me.


“I don’t know.” He answered.


“Jon, I did care…I even paid your parking ticket for you, without telling you and…” I tried to explain.


“THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME!!!!!” I could imagine him sitting outside the subway station, yelling his soul over the cell phone as onlookers distanced themselves warily from him.

“NOTHING!!! I JUST WANT YOUR BODY….YOUR BODY!!!” He continued.


“How many other men have you had sex with? YOU’RE INEXPERIENCED, and kept joking about how young I was and how you were going to jail, TELL ME HOW MANY? DID YOU ENJOY HAVING SEX WITH THEM, SABINE?!? YOU HATED IT WITH ME!!!” He demanded.


“Look everyone’s experience is different….not about being inexperienced…..What happened between us is no one’s fault. Its about our feelings, they didn’t match up we didn’t feel the same way about each other. Its not about wrong or right or who to blame. We just felt differently about each other. And that’s ok” I replied, almost a little too mechanically as it was one of the lines I remembered from a break-up advice site. I felt it was true, or at least I could believe it…that in the end maybe Jon didn’t feel the same way and I got —


“YOU SEE! YOU DON’T GET IT SABINE!!!! THERE IS BLAME!!! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU’RE THE BLAME!!! IT’S YOUR FAULT I DON’T FEEL ABOUT YOU THE WAY YOU WANTED TOO!”

I won’t bore you with all 90 minutes of this conversation, I’m not sure if the snippets are in order. But the last thing I said to him in a very tearful way, was that I tried really really hard to show my true feelings for him and reassure him that I liked him, and I was sorry that he couldn’t see it.

And hung up.

I texted him again apologizing for anything insensitive that may have occurred.

Now I’m guilty. Was it really my fault? Should I have been more affectionate, was I less concerned about his feelings? Maybe something I did selfishly? But he didn’t give me a chance. The guy is impatient and makes rash decisions. I wanted a chance to grow, know him better, and to make him happy. Maybe there is still a chance to grow and know each other better, but perhaps as friends.

A quiet night shattered by a crash.

Ch. 15 Truth and Reckoning

“I’m not interested in that Sabine”

For a moment, I thought I was looking at the face of another man. He did not possess the boyish good looks or charm that mesmerized me. As he shoved down his food, me still having no appetite, I realized what had changed. He was revealing himself to me, his truth. And it was ugly. Jon repulsed me.