Getting back into the dating game can be rough if you’ve been out of it for a few years (or decades). Maybe you once considered yourself a Romeo, but now you’re out of practice and not sure how to proceed. Plus, you know the dating rules have changed since the last time you were on the market. So how do you make sure you score a second date with a nice woman, next time someone piques your interest? Here are four ways.
1. Don’t Come on Too Strong
Many men who re-enter the dating scene again after a long break make the mistake of coming on too strong and scaring the woman away. She may be beautiful and amazing, but don’t keep telling her so over and over again. This will put you in “potential creepy stalker” territory in her mind right away. In addition, avoid:
- telling her you could fall in love with her
- planning a date that is too extravagant or too romantic
- kissing her too deeply and too long when you say goodnight
- lavishing her with overly expensive gifts
Instead, be polite, alert, and give her a small gift at the beginning of the date, or even before. Consider having flowers delivered to her office the day of your date to show her that you’re looking forward to the evening ahead.
2. Be a Good Listener
Another mistake men make on first dates is talking too much about themselves. While she does want to know certain things about you, she also wants you to know about her, and she wants to see if you’re a good listener. Make sure the conversation is two-sided and ask plenty of questions about her childhood, family, job, and hobbies.
3. Keep the Conversation Light
There’s an old saying that you should never talk about religion or politics in polite company. The same is true for a first date. Avoid discussing anything that could lead to potential arguments. Now is also not the time to talk about things that are too intimate, such as your most recent colonoscopy or your ex-wife’s cheating ways. Keep the conversation topics light and positive to make way for enjoyable conversation.
4. Pay for the Date
It may sound old-fashioned, but most of today’s women still expect the man to pay for the first date. Going Dutch on subsequent dates is perfectly okay, and if she really likes you, she may even offer to pay on future dates. However, you won’t get any future dates with her if you don’t pay for the first. Lack of paying shows a lack of consideration and general lack of manners on your part. Make her feel like a lady, and insist on treating her to a nice meal on your first date.
If you live in New York City, chances are that you’ve lost touch with the city’s magical qualities. Yet every year, millions of visitors flock to the Big Apple for a slice of NYC glamour and glitz. In fact, NYC & Company, the city’s official marketing organization, estimates that New York attracted more than 52 million international and domestic visitors in 2012 alone. But lucky you—this thriving city is your playground and you have all its treasures at your fingertips, especially when planning your next hot date.
Whether you’re in search of a destination for a memorable first date or looking for something special to commemorate an anniversary, New York City has a number a number of ways to impress the special guy in your life.
A Dinner to Remember
Elevate an average dinner out by taking your guy to the restaurant that topped Zagat’s 100 Best Restaurants list, Le Bernardin. This exceptional restaurant, which has also been awarded three stars by the Michelin Guide, features exquisite French dining by well-known chef, Eric Ripert. Le Bernardin’s pre-fixe dinners start at $130, so this is definitely going to be an epicurean experience to remember—in other words, not cheap. But if your guy is worth the bucks, this is the place to spoil him.
Photo by arnold I inuyaki via Flickr
A Thespian’s Delight
If your beau’s favorite thespian is in town, purchase a pair of New York City Broadway tickets. Look for Bebe Neuwirth to appear again in Chicago. Neuwirth, who won a Tony for playing Velma Kelly during the 1996 run of this musical, will be trying her hand at a different role this time. According to Artsbeat, Neuwirth will appear as “Mama” Morton for this outing.
Other stars hitting Broadway stages soon, include Michelle Williams and Alan Cumming who will be in town in March for Cabaret. And if your guy likes controversy, the current talk of the town has been focused on the rather “interesting” casting of Carly Rae Jepsen in Cinderella, which will also feature Fran Drescher.
Photo by Broadway Tour via Flickr
Move to the Groove
If you and your partner spend many a night in awe of the glamorous outfits and choreography of the dancers on “Dancing with the Stars,” consider booking a dance lesson with Big Apple Ranch, which is held at the Dance Manhattan Studios. The Big Apple Ranch offers courses in a number of different dance styles, including West Coast Swing, two-step and line dancing.
Cooking Love Lessons
You’ve heard the expression: The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? So why not take a cooking class—or better yet, a sensual cooking class. Appetite for Seduction offers classes that teach couples how to create three-course sensual meals together. Its classes have names such as Insatiable Italian and Steak and a BJ. CBS New York recently included Appetite of Seduction in its list of the Seven Best Cooking Classes in New York and New Jersey.
Photo by Jeff Kubina via Flickr
This author’s take on what a woman needs to succeed. If you would like to post a counterargument, please email your articles to email@example.com subject line: Counter-post entry for your chance to be featured on the blog and a $20 gift-card!
This is a woman’s world.
A woman has all of the necessary tools at her disposal to seduce and control any man without hesitation. They have the body, the mind, and the skills necessary to make a man their servant. But there are other things that can help any woman be more seductive.
These weapons of seduction are crucial to ensuring that a woman is successful in her endeavors.
Whether she is simply trying to pick up a guy and take him home, or move up the corporate ladder, these weapons are the tools to give her whatever she desires in life.
A woman who smiles has the ability to melt the soul of any man she is smiling at. The simple act of smiling can send shivers down his spine and make him beg and grovel at her feet. Some women have much better smiles than others.
The simple act of showing subtle cleavage is enough to keep any man focused on things other than what is important. This can distract a man and make him bow to a woman’s every beck and call. And while a miniskirt can do the same thing, it is important that a woman never wear a miniskirt while simultaneously showing cleavage.
Men are turned on by a woman’s legs. The concept of a tall slender woman is only accented when she wears high heels. The higher the heels, the more seductive the legs can be. However, it is important that if you wear high heels, that you are able to walk in them comfortably and normally.
A woman should be confident and have a very good sense of humor. Some women in an attempt to seduce a guy will laugh at just about anything he says; no matter how stupid it is. Guys can sense when a woman is faking her humor; so only laugh when it is really funny.
Believe it or not, many women believe that certain things are seductive, but are actually a turn-off for most guys.
There are certain things that a woman should never do in order to seduce a guy or make her more appealing to the opposite sex.
Too Much Makeup
Some women wear too much makeup. Most women do not actually need any makeup at all to look great. Most men do not want to kiss a woman whose lips are glossed with an inch thick layer of lipstick.
Also, most men do not want foundation and powder all over them.
Some women wear too much perfume. A small amount of perfume is great, but most men can find it a turn-off when a woman wears too much perfume. Further, using the wrong perfume can be just as bad as using too much perfume.
While it is true that most men prefer suntanned beauties over snow white skin, they can tell the difference between a real and fake tan. Men do not like big hands, especially when they are excessive.
The fake tanning lotions smell awful and they may stain furniture and sheets.
Men like running their hands through a woman’s hair. If you have hair extensions, can they do it? Talk about being embarrassed, what happens if the guy you are trying to seduce tries to run his fingers through your hair and pulled out an extension in the middle of public? Just be natural.
SovietLover is a freelance writer based in United States who has researched several dating sites for women since 2005 and participated in the development of several dating events to share experiences and knowledge. He is a keen reader and article writer at http://www.sovietmate.net CIS online dating site. When he has the time, he enjoys riding bicycle and swimming. He can speak and write in English and Spanish.
Image is from blogs.fanbox.com
Sexuality and its increasing grey area.
Many folks think about sexuality in binary terms – Straight (Heterosexual) or Gay (Homosexual) and the “confused” or “greedy” Bisexuals who fall in the middle (that is, if you believe in Bisexuality, because some people do not).
But gender and sexuality studies are showing that things are not as Black and White as they seem, sexuality is along a spectrum where the majority of folks can fall in the middle and only some identify as extremely Hetero- or Homo -sexual.
You have Asexuals – which are folks who are not attracted to either sex. There are Pansexual individuals whose attraction includes Trans- and Ci-gender people and some other lesser known identities. Believe it or not, I believe that everyone knows someone who is Asexual. But since it had not been persecuted or studied like Homosexuality, it has been ignored. Think about it, that cat woman or distant aunt that grew to be a “spinster” – never married or had children. Or the uncle or teacher that too never married or seemed to have a romantic interest.
Some people are romantically involved in Hetero-relationships; like a Middle-aged Black man with a wife and three kids, but has a sexual attraction for men. He is Heteromantic, but has homosexual relations (the PC term is called MSM – Men who have Sex with Men to avoid using the label), he loves his wife and family but is sexually attracted to other men; he says he’s not gay. These are the realities…and sexuality terms aren’t so fixed. As one lecturer put it: “Just because you eat Chinese food, it doesn’t make you Chinese” then the same can be said for sexuality; does it make you gay if you only enjoy sexual relations with the same sex, but still fall in love and have relationships with members of the opposite sex?
And thus, my long winded way of sharing this post from Asexual Thinking…examining a study on “Straight Men and their attraction to other men” Let me know you thoughts!
Btw, Welcome my 8,000th blogger to follow me! Nicola Kirk at Chronicles of Ms. Typo!
Originally posted on The Thinking Asexual:
The Huffington Post just published an article about straight men who sometimes have sex with other men and how it could be that they identify/are straight yet engage in homosexual activity. On the list of reasons is “sexual attraction toward men but romantic attraction toward women,” which I am thrilled about! These men are heteromantic homosexuals.
The only thing I wish was different about the article is the inclusion of men who are sexually attracted to women but romantically attracted to men: homoromantic heterosexuals or biromantic heterosexuals. It would’ve been particularly good if the author had talked a little bit about that experience of having romantic feelings for someone you don’t want to have sex with and the kind of relationship that might form as a result of that: a nonsexual romantic relationship, a romantic friendship, a partially nonsexual polyamorous configuration, etc.
Nevertheless, I’m happy that this sort of complexity…
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He sits on his ass. He plays a mediocre video game for two hours straight. He picks his ear. He smokes from his bong. Then he turns on Netflix.
Meanwhile, you’ve been sitting next to him on the couch this whole time – having a threesome with Beyoncé and Paris Hilton.
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