Tag Archives: Relationships

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Guest Contribution: 4 Ways to Get a Second Date

Getting back into the dating game can be rough if you’ve been out of it for a few years (or decades). Maybe you once considered yourself a Romeo, but now you’re out of practice and not sure how to proceed. Plus, you know the dating rules have changed since the last time you were on the market. So how do you make sure you score a second date with a nice woman, next time someone piques your interest? Here are four ways.

1. Don’t Come on Too Strong

Many men who re-enter the dating scene again after a long break make the mistake of coming on too strong and scaring the woman away. She may be beautiful and amazing, but don’t keep telling her so over and over again. This will put you in “potential creepy stalker” territory in her mind right away. In addition, avoid:

  • telling her you could fall in love with her
  • planning a date that is too extravagant or too romantic
  • kissing her too deeply and too long when you say goodnight
  • lavishing her with overly expensive gifts

Instead, be polite, alert, and give her a small gift at the beginning of the date, or even before. Consider having flowers delivered to her office the day of your date to show her that you’re looking forward to the evening ahead.

2. Be a Good Listener

Another mistake men make on first dates is talking too much about themselves. While she does want to know certain things about you, she also wants you to know about her, and she wants to see if you’re a good listener. Make sure the conversation is two-sided and ask plenty of questions about her childhood, family, job, and hobbies.

3. Keep the Conversation Light

There’s an old saying that you should never talk about religion or politics in polite company. The same is true for a first date. Avoid discussing anything that could lead to potential arguments. Now is also not the time to talk about things that are too intimate, such as your most recent colonoscopy or your ex-wife’s cheating ways. Keep the conversation topics light and positive to make way for enjoyable conversation.

4. Pay for the Date

It may sound old-fashioned, but most of today’s women still expect the man to pay for the first date. Going Dutch on subsequent dates is perfectly okay, and if she really likes you, she may even offer to pay on future dates. However, you won’t get any future dates with her if you don’t pay for the first. Lack of paying shows a lack of consideration and general lack of manners on your part. Make her feel like a lady, and insist on treating her to a nice meal on your first date.

Guest Contribution: Strengthening Your Relationship for Long-Term Happiness

Nurturing a relationship means focusing on making each moment together the best possible moment. It’s easy to forget that when you get tied up in work and other life issues. According to Graham Lowe Human Solutions, the most common HR challenge is giving employees a work/life balance. Although it might not be easy, making time for your significant other will improve your relationship dramatically. These suggestions will give you some ideas on how to make your relationship grow and blossom into a life full of perfect moments together.

Best Friends Forever

Is your lover a BFF? They should be. A strong relationship is based on a solid friendship. If you’ve not thought about it, what makes your relationship with other BFFs different that the one with your lover? The same compassion, respect and gratitude you have for friends should be there for your partner. You should be supportive of each other but not judgmental. They should be someone you can turn to no matter what the situation is that you’re dealing with.

If this relationship does not feel that way, then it’s time to talk about how it feels different than your other BFF relationships. You may feel compelled to talk with other friends about certain things in your life, but you shouldn’t be afraid to talk with your significant other about anything going on.

Life is Not a Textbook

Reassure each other that your lives are not defined by a book, magazine or TV show. These channels may guide you with general “how to’s” with regards to a number of subjects, but you both have to discover how to meaningfully translate those messages into your own lives. Neither of you may ever cook like Julia Child. You may never have the sexual encounters of a romance movie. But these channels can give you inspiration to do your best in certain areas.

Give each other credit for what you try and learn from, but may never attempt again. Experiment with each other whether it’s in the kitchen or in bed. You will write your own “book” of the way things work for you and it will be more relevant to your relationship than anything else you read or watch.

Look for the Ruts and Avoid Them

As soon as you start feeling like things are getting routine, introduce some new life into the relationship and avoid the rut ahead. Plan a romantic weekend getaway. Be spontaneous and meet your lover in a motel room in some fancy lingerie. Spend a weekend at home with a stack of movies and a kitchen full of snacks and drinks.

If you periodically inject some spontaneous energy into your relationship, you may never feel a rut coming on. Vary the activities so the spontaneity doesn’t become a rut. You’ll soon anticipate those fun events and be even more grateful when they come around.

Just Listen

Practice listening to each other, suggests Your Tango. Most people find that as soon as another person starts talking, the mind goes into overdrive to find something to say. Resist that urge and allow yourself to listen without responding. When people feel “heard” by another person, a connection of comfort and trust between them is created.

Take turns listening to each other and feed back what you heard the other say in your own words. Let them correct you, then repeat. You’ll each learn to listen to each other more effectively which contributes to better communication and fewer misunderstandings.

Visit the Future Together

Psychology Today says a healthy relationship includes looking toward a future with each other. If your lover is “the one”, then conversations about your future together 10 years from now are good. If you’re not sure about it, then talk about what you see each other doing together a year from now.

As you both create pictures in your minds about what your future looks like together, you’re also building pathways of trust. This is another foundational part of the relationship with your lover; trust that you will be together in the future. Doubts about your future together can keep you from fully enjoying the current moments together.

How Does it End?

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing. — Anaïs Nin

The Last

TheGirl:

Another video!! Guys, take note of this.

Originally posted on Welcome to my world.:

Awwwww this video is so cute… You should watch this if you are as romantic as I am! : ) – or if you’re a guy and you want to say the sweetest thing ever to the girl you love.

Seriously, when I watched this video, I had this huge smile on my face and sparkles in the eyes… I’m not kidding!

I want to meet a guy that will make my heart melt like the one in the video! I want to fall in love with “the good guy” who will be able to make me smile everyday, who will understand me, protect me, be there for me… I think every girl want to find a guy like that, right?

Yes… I am this kind of girl who is still waiting for the perfect prince charming ahah! I am sure he is somewhere in this world : ) – Don’t…

View original 7 more words

Guest Post: Impress Your Guy with these NYC Date-Night Destinations

If you live in New York City, chances are that you’ve lost touch with the city’s magical qualities. Yet every year, millions of visitors flock to the Big Apple for a slice of NYC glamour and glitz. In fact, NYC & Company, the city’s official marketing organization, estimates that New York attracted more than 52 million international and domestic visitors in 2012 alone. But lucky you—this thriving city is your playground and you have all its treasures at your fingertips, especially when planning your next hot date.

Whether you’re in search of a destination for a memorable first date or looking for something special to commemorate an anniversary, New York City has a number a number of ways to impress the special guy in your life.

A Dinner to Remember

Elevate an average dinner out by taking your guy to the restaurant that topped Zagat’s 100 Best Restaurants list, Le Bernardin. This exceptional restaurant, which has also been awarded three stars by the Michelin Guide, features exquisite French dining by well-known chef, Eric Ripert. Le Bernardin’s pre-fixe dinners start at $130, so this is definitely going to be an epicurean experience to remember—in other words, not cheap. But if your guy is worth the bucks, this is the place to spoil him.

Photo by arnold I inuyaki via Flickr

A Thespian’s Delight

If your beau’s favorite thespian is in town, purchase a pair of New York City Broadway tickets. Look for Bebe Neuwirth to appear again in Chicago. Neuwirth, who won a Tony for playing Velma Kelly during the 1996 run of this musical, will be trying her hand at a different role this time. According to Artsbeat, Neuwirth will appear as “Mama” Morton for this outing.

Other stars hitting Broadway stages soon, include Michelle Williams and Alan Cumming who will be in town in March for Cabaret. And if your guy likes controversy, the current talk of the town has been focused on the rather “interesting” casting of Carly Rae Jepsen in Cinderella, which will also feature Fran Drescher.

Photo by Broadway Tour via Flickr

Move to the Groove

If you and your partner spend many a night in awe of the glamorous outfits and choreography of the dancers on “Dancing with the Stars,” consider booking a dance lesson with Big Apple Ranch, which is held at the Dance Manhattan Studios. The Big Apple Ranch offers courses in a number of different dance styles, including West Coast Swing, two-step and line dancing.

Cooking Love Lessons

You’ve heard the expression: The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? So why not take a cooking class—or better yet, a sensual cooking class. Appetite for Seduction offers classes that teach couples how to create three-course sensual meals together. Its classes have names such as Insatiable Italian and Steak and a BJ. CBS New York recently included Appetite of Seduction in its list of the Seven Best Cooking Classes in New York and New Jersey.

Photo by Jeff Kubina via Flickr