Chapter 1: The Snob

So got your degree in history, huh? Cool, I love history.”

This is the first message Jon sent to me after adding him as a favorite to my bucket list. In the online dating world you could browse through various profiles and save the ones that interest you, so you can browse through them later. The dating site alerted him that he had been favorited and he decided to contact me: he had to pay to do that.

After some back and forth emailing he sent me his phone number and I texted him, and eventually called to hear the man behind his salacious online handle: Mr. Switch.

Hi, Its Sabrien from online. How are you?”

Jon-Hey yo, why the fuck are you calling from a blocked number, huh? What the fuck you are trying to hide? What the fuck is this?”

Sabrien –Um, are you serious, I think you need to calm the fuck down…”I thought this guy was from New England?  Is this the right number?

Jon –Eh I ain’t doing shit right now,  just came from the fucking….”

And that was pretty much how Jon and I introduced each other, a pretentious and vulgar ruffling of feathers like two male peacocks fighting for territory in the middle of mating season. Had we met in person immediately after emailing each other, there probably would have been blood spilled.

No, there definitely would have been blood spilled.

And so we talked…..about stuff, whatever I could make out between his F bombs. He went to school out of state, is an only child, C-section baby, and works as a reporter in the city.

Jon-So how did you find my profile?”

Sabrien –Yeh I was browsing people in my area, and I’m 25 about to have a birthday soon, your profile said we’re the same age….so I messaged you cause there’s not a lot guys in my age group in this area….”

Jon-I’m 24, oh I actually changed that on purpose”

Sabrien-Oh ha ha ha….so now who’s trying to hide something! You ragged on me for having a blocked number?”
Jon –Not trying to fucking hide anything, just hiding my identity”

I’m thinking: Douchebag!

Sabrien – “You know we’re in the same boat…how long have you been online?”

Not only was Mr. Switch new to online matchmaking, but he hadn’t been active for even a month before we contacted each other. Virgin and paranoid, he would continue to “ruffle his feathers” in an attempt to show his virility and “CHARM”

Jon also seemed to be a good writer and have an inquisitve nature, but you can forget about art of seduction, the guy needed to review Friendly People Skills  for Dummies 101.  Call me a pseudo-psychologist but I was his mirror; I could see underneath his façade and reflect his projections. Every time he shot, I patronized back.

So you’re actually younger than me?….hhhmmm…. I dunno,….guys your age are usually immature…did you graduate college?”

Jon– “Yeh, I went to a small…”

Sabrien – “Oh my university is top three in the state, graduated with honors…So your profile says you’re new to the scene, I guess I’m more experienced…”

After a short period we decided to meet.  I scheduled him last after a succession of dates I had lined up that weekend. Sunday before our first encounter, I had a very fulfilling brunch in lower Manhattan with a very unfulfilling date: cocky, arrogant, and yes ladies we went DUTCH (and I’m Caribbean, I don’t speak that language!). Conversation topic: “ I Hate New Yorkers. Can’t wait to go back to Boston…law school…corporate….Sh!t….”

That night, Jon had loosened up a bit and became more comfortable and low key in conversation and our banter was more natural and PG-13.

Before I hung up with him, I heard sigh of relief, and imagined him lying back on a bed or chair; maybe he took some of my stretching and deep breathing advice….

Jon – “So, 6:30…I’m excited to meet you tomorrow”

Sabrien – “Why?”

Are you sure you write for the paper and not just deliver it?

Now who’s the snob?

Preview for Next Week

Backspace + Ctrl+ Enter

Hi, I’m looking for….Naked Lunch

Sabrien — “So what are you looking for?”

Jon – “I just want to have fuuuunnn and  be with someone that loves trying new things…this is my first blind date”

Sabrien – “You think this is a date? What kind of stuff do you like to do

© 2012 -2013 S. C Rhyne

53 thoughts on “Chapter 1: The Snob

  1. Well done for not making arrangements to meet and batter him for having such a fowl offensive attitude with you as soon as he answered the phone! What happened to the customary – Hello how are you?! Great start – cannot wait to read the rest!

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    1. Thanks Fay, Yeh dating in 2013 is not what is used to be. NYT came out with an article that talked about how young folks (like me) are “hanging out” instead of just “dating” cause when you use the D word it implies seriousness….wtf? The men and women relate to each other is not the same as is it was in 2000 or the 90s for that sake!

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      1. Completely in agreement – if things continue there could be anarchy on the dating front! Internet dating is a moot point to be honest as it just seems to have wormed its way into our daily lives as the norm – everyone is too busy and too tired to get off their but and get out and meet people. I have to say that I have an online profile and am in two minds whether to keep it or not! Dating is dating and some just need to realise the cold hard reality of the world unless they want to grow old alone!
        Ok that came out a bit strong but it is somewhat true – then again it is a personal choice! (Jump down from your high horse i say to all those people ready to throw stones at me for stating that it would be nice to have a life companion!!!)
        As for NYT they can kiss my proverbial! What a load of ****!! Great post 😀

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      2. I’m much older (mid-fifties) When I was your’ age it was the late-seventies, and things were still pretty messed up gender-roles-wise by the sexual revolution of the sixties and early seventies. We didn’t date. We went out and got laid. Sometimes that turned into a relationship, most times it didn’t. It was effed up. I didn’t actually DATE until very recently!

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  2. I just finished reading Chapter 1 and liked it a lot. I intend to come back and follow through. You are a talented writer inasmuch as you don’t keep your reader waiting and guessing what you might be up to. All the best.
    Dipankar

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    1. Hi Dipankar, thank you for the compliments! I never thought of myself as a writer, but its true what they say…with the right emotional break —you speak through a creative outlet….I’ll stop by again your blog too!

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  3. Well, what can I say except, now have another blog I have to read through because you have peaked my interest, especially knowing that it is factually based. Thank you for dropping by my spot and allowing me to meet you!

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  4. Dear Girl, I grew up with Bye Bye Birdie and West Side Story. How times change!
    As a poet…these are so many words…to read all at once,
    but, I want to thank you, and wish you the joy of words and their expression;
    and think, also, you have a playwright in you.

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    1. Hi J4n,

      Yes a lot has changed in the ways of courtship and dating, to where its now “hanging out.”

      So sad….but this experience has taught me alot about myself and the world.

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  5. Why would anyone go beyond that first meeting, beyond the first few minutes? Why would anyone in their right mind go in for that! I am baffled.What is sympathetic on a person who speaks like that, and worse, to a woman – on a first date. This is way too high for my pay grade.

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    1. Hi LexsBorgia,

      This was on the phone, Ch 2 was the face to face. Our first phone call got off to a unique start…but you’re right, probably any other girl would have hung up immediately, and not stay to conquer!

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  6. ‘Wonderful writing. . . although I have had to makes some adjustment visually with some of the language, but that does not alter the purity of your wonderful style of writing, and story-telling. I can read through the language, without missing any importance of thought on the story, and of what you wish to convey. I m not unaccustomed to the language. So please, do not alter any particular for this “one” admired reader. Again, I adored your post of stories, but mainly, of what I’ve completed reading so far. . .

    I look forward to a continuance of read more! Thank you!

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    1. Hi Orion,

      Thanks for the compliments, Yes It is foul language, but I wanted to be true to the nature of the characters and did not want to feel like I was censoring. At least you get an idea of the personalities that we’re dealing with.

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  7. I’ve just read this first chapter, and thought you were crazy not to have hung up after the first couple of sentences. That opening gambit would have told most ladies that this would only end badly, but I guess you like a challenge. Putting you on the back foot, and making you feel like you had to justify yourself as being worthy, is a classic arrogant male strategy, and ladies fall for it all the time. Quite why you would want to win round such a character is beyond me, unless confrontation is what you enjoy.
    I’m sure it’s a fascinating story, and you write very well, but confrontation and disaster are not my choice of reading, so I’ll pass on the rest.
    The very best of luck to you, I hope you learned something valuable from your experience.

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  8. I’m Glad you enjoyed my story hehe ^_^ I’m rather enjoying yours as well. Even though i’m not usually one for romance, I do like the realism and the kinda quirkyness of the characters so far. I hope to read more soon

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    1. Hi Varoona,

      Thanks for coming by, wouldn’t call it your traditional romance story….because it’s based on reality of relationships. I hope to hear more from you!

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  9. Simple but unique. Something about the natural need for companionship beyond perception that I like, yet there also seems to be a stretch of the extreme, something only this character would do in this situation because they aren’t anyone else. I will read more.

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