A Personal Note (RANT…BREAKDOWN Warning!!!)

So this week has been terribly busy and an up/down roller-coaster for me.

Work has been busier than usual and I had been out of the office for two days in the field.  Only to return on my only full day without clients (Thursday) to have an email waiting for me from a lady who’s dying to yell at me as soon as I call her.

Some people really don’t understand nonprofits. There are two things you need to concern yourself about how nonprofit works.

1. We don’t get paid enough to put up with other people’s bulls*!#

2. We run on a different time schedule.

Let me explain #2 first: In the private sector time=money. Meaning, you shouldn’t be wasting time, otherwise its money that could have been earned. Now in the nonprofit and even government sector, technically this is not true. Time is not money, this is why the lady at the DMV doesn’t have to rush to process everyone on line. The DMV, makes the same amount of money and you’ll just come back to tomorrow, bitches!

So the DMV won’t lose money.

Same with nonprofits. As salaried workers or volunteers: 10 tasks a day or 5 tasks a day it doesn’t matter to us because the agency doesn’t make/lose money.

It in no way means people are lazy, but when half your “workforce” is made up of volunteers; then things aren’t always top priority. Not to say that volunteers aren’t dedicated, but an agency can only go so far or move so fast relying on volunteerism.

Ok now rule #1. Very few people can say that they make enough (especially to put up with people’s bulls#!*). But government and nonprofits are notorious for underpaying (Remember hiring part-time, but making you work full time hours and saving on the benefits? Walmart didn’t invent that, it was the United States Postal Service)

Many nonprofits adhere to strict contracts, including which positions you can hire for and how much they get paid. So if an agency is contracted to have 1 social worker and 1 case manager, but they have 100 clients busting down the door in need of services…well people get referred out pretty quickly or fall through the cracks. And pay is regulated, so you’re doing a great job and performing at 4,000% your caseload (Yes, this was my annual review) SORRY, you won’t be getting a raise or promotion. Because the contract doesn’t have that written into it.

But workers aren’t lazy, in fact many nonprofit workers wear 8 or 9 hats. So the social worker who is officially hired as a “social worker” by contract, is also the receptionist, jobs skills coordinator, ESL teacher, SNAP (food stamps) enrollment officer. But is only getting paid for her contract job description. So in a sense, they are volunteering when they take on those extra roles. Hence we go back to #2 about volunteers and time.

I guess this is a long way of me saying why I didn’t post anything yesterday.

Another reason, is that I have been feeling pretty moody and upset about Jon.  Don’t ask me why, maybe it has to with the fact that I have been putting off finishing the chapters.

Speaking of which, I am considering publishing TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan! I was contacted by a publisher a while back, but everything is TBA; except that I am using the pen name/pseudonym S.C. Rhyne.

So I do want to thank all my readers and followers for loyally supporting me and I hope you’ll follow the series onto this next stage.

(Sigh) so feeling crappy and depressed I managed to weasel in half a chapter today. As well as complete the video for Chapter 5; but I’m waiting on a music decision before that can go live.

I tried to be more productive, by fixing my Whirley Pop popcorn maker. It had broke a few weeks back, and the company decided to stand by it’s reliable product by sending me gear kit to put the damn thing back together myself. And I can’t even unscrew the old gears off.

So tonight I’ll be snacking on this:

Otherwise, I’m probably the only person right now who wouldn’t mind North Korea going nuclear and burning everything to the ground just so I can be alone. Like Walking Dead alone

On a positive note, aren’t you enjoying the Spring weather we’re having?

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81 thoughts on “A Personal Note (RANT…BREAKDOWN Warning!!!)

  1. I might enjoy the Spring weather; were not bouncing between Spring and Winter out here in the Midwest! On the positive side, you sound like you handle hat-juggling much better than I do (spoiler: breakdowns are not fun) – have every hug I can possibly give.

    North Korea can go nuclear and leave you Walking Dead alone only if the rest of us can still read blogs from whatever ether we get vaporized to.

    Humh. If, magically, the internet remained after such a catastrophe – what *would* the lone survivor of a nuclear apocalypse rant about?


  2. As a current state government worker, I feel your pain, seriously. Do the best you can do, nothing less, nothing more. I’ve worked in the private sector, too, and while my state job may not pay as well, at least I can sleep at night :). Good luck with the publisher!


      1. Oh, what I meant about being able to sleep at night was that at least in my current position (lowly state worker), my conscience is clear. When I was a technical editor in the private sector, the firm I worked for had clients such as Monsanto and Dow Chemical, which was bad enough (the firm provided scientific “expertise” to assist the deep pockets in lawsuits filed by people who believed they had suffered some contamination due to using our clients’ products). Having grown up in poor farm country, I often felt that I had more in common with the plaintiffs than our clients, the defendants. The tipping point came when my firm gave me an affidavit to edit on behalf of The Tobacco Cooperative. I walked up and down the hallway saying, “Really? Do we need money this badly? Really?” They gave the affidavit to another editor. I wound up quitting and going back to school to get an MSW: I felt I needed to redeem myself. Now I work in the public health field in state government and even though I’m underpaid and under-appreciated, I know I’m doing good work for the right reasons; thus, I can sleep at night 🙂


      2. You’re right! Thanks for that. It really is about doing the right thing for right reasons. And I want to continue to do good, but I wonder if everyone (where I am) feels that way. And I guess that’s what disheartening, to know that if somethings needs to get done for community or the agency it may just have to come from a few people and not everyone.


  3. Consider, there is something worse than a non profit, that is a for profit that doesn’t.
    I have had so many close calls with ,,”well make it up next time”… so I can feel your downturned smile, but if you just stand on your head it will be a smile. just ask the bosses, they all suggest you do that. That is why I have been self underemployed most of my adult life. :-} You will feel better in the morning.


      1. When ever I get down and blue, I draw an ugly doodle. I curse it and throw it away. Then I get out a nice piece of paper and put random marks on it, tell my self a story and connect the marks with a doodle. Working until I loose myself in it. It doesn’t always work but it leaves me thinking I have options.
        Hope you get happier!


  4. Please stop apologizing for when you do or don’t post! It is what it is…life gets in the way, and in my book, the good writers, the dedicated writers, should take the advice of Benjamin Jowett (1817-1893) “Never apologize, never explain” …although the explaining part is kinda hard I guess. PS. I used to think it was Katherine Hepburn who said this, but through the magic of Google I found out the name of the guy above. And that Ms Hepburn said “Never complain, never explain” and even that probably was not her original quote!


      1. Sorry! I might have come across harsher than I intended. All I meant was that you don’t need to apologize. So many bloggers start their posts with “I am sorry” Or I have meant to post” and it gets kinda dull. NOT that you are dull. Gosh. Not getting the words out today 😉


  5. Yes indeed I am enjoying the Spring weather here in the UK. Give yourself a break and get out and enjoy what Mother Nature has to offer. Come Monday, you can return to ranting again (insert smiley face).


  6. It sounds like your week was pretty similar to mine, except we had a snowstorm here in Nova Scotia (Canada) where I live so no sun to cheer me up. I had to laugh at your nuclear comment because I thought the exact same thing myself. Anyway, the snow has melted so all is good now. Thanks for making me realize I wasn’t the only one on the planet about to lose it 🙂


  7. Things can get a little crazy like that times but you’ll be fine if you take it each day as it is. Oddly enough, for me when things start to get overwhelming, I stop fighting it and just…accept?

    I know it sounds odd but it works wonders.


    1. Yeh…accepting really is a major “relief” Like knowing I can’t control things (or people) so just accepting that this is how it is, and how I can find peace within that…..thanks!


  8. It just makes you more human. And what matters counts is what you take back from this and move on to something better. Hand in there. Chin Up. 🙂


  9. Sorry your having such a rough Week, I’ve volunteered at a Fire Department before as an EMT III/Probationary Training Officer/CPR Instructor it’s many hats we wear and my supposed 12 hr/week commitment ballooned into a 30 hr/week commitment…hang in there!


    1. Glad you’re helping out the community, and yeh I feel ya, except I have refused since I came back from medical leave to put myself through so much overtime. I’m learning to balance more and only take on what I can.


      1. Thanks! It was a used to, I wish I still did it, but two kids, a hubby and a full time job put it on the back burner…had to re-prioritize ya know? Taking care of oneself is sometimes harder than taking care of others! So good for you!


    1. Hey John,

      I’m glad this put things in perspective for you. I guess it made me realize that we all have problems and we all have our days when it get to us. Thanks for reading 🙂


  10. When I was in college I worked in a state hospital and was hired as “part time” but never worked less than 40 hrs because of the mandate clause, basically stating that if the patients are going to die if you leave you HAVE to stay. Working in the ICU everyone was dying. Rant away, it helps. I just hope you like your job as much as I did, otherwise your going to end up in the fetal position eating your own hair 🙂 Hang in there!


  11. I think as writers when our feelings overwhelm us we are surprised, because in many ways we have an out, that being our art. I agree with “allnightknits” rant away!!!! I was awakened to a rant worthy feeling myself at 2 A.M.


  12. Yeah, things get a bit “messy” to downright “flat busted” in life at times! I used to work in sales and marketing for what feels like a 1,000 years. And never once did I feel I had to stand there and take garbage from people!

    Hang in, lady. It never stays a cloudy day forever…
    Skip 🙂


  13. hi TheGirl, was wondering where you were. sorry you’ve been feeling so low, i share your pain but mine is more chemical in origin, though the end result is emotional. i have S.A.D, and it’s been so darn grey here in Chicago, i finally spiraled on Friday. splatt!

    congrats on the publishing score, that’s a real big step and i like your pen name too. hope you are feeling a little brighter today.

    be well and keep the::::light::::


  14. You had me at “I don’t get paid enough…” Never ceases to amaze me the expectations that people have but don’t have the tact to reciprocate. Rant on! We all need to vent sometimes to keep up the good (and sometimes thankless) work.


  15. Well, my batteries on my remote died yesterday and I just happened to catch Joel Osteen, that was the only channel I could get, and no matter what your religious views, his sermon definitely resonated with me – much to my surprise. You know what he said, get over it! I couldn’t believe it. All your friends are married and you’re still single? Get over it. You had a horrible childhood and your father was never there? Get over it! You were passed up for that promotion? Get over it! His main point holding on to that stuff doesn’t help you move forward to be all the great things you are. And besides, even if North Korea sent a missile, they’d probably miss 🙂 So my friend, you are too good for sadness. So please, get over it! 🙂


  16. What gets me about that type of job is not so much what happens during the working day but the way that it can mess with your head all the rest of the time and stop you doing the other things that really matter to you, like not being able to study or write or whatever because of the effect of all of the crappy days 😦
    I hope the clouds clear for you soon.


  17. Good for you for pushing through it! You might have your own tools, but sometime when I really feel stuck and often like shit, I do a journal. It’s private, so anything goes. By the end, I usually know what is bothering me and why. I can read it a couple of times and absorb it. Often, I come up with a plan later in the day or overnight. I don’t put any pressure on getting anything out of it, but it really helps to just get it out where I can reflect on it!

    Congrats on the publishing deal. That’s awesome!

    Thanks for liking my video.

    With love, Amanda


  18. It’s hard working inside a non-profit and I don’t think anyone knows how hard it is until they’ve been there. I serve on the board of three non-profits and I consider it the responsibility of the board to raise enough money to ensure adequate paid staff to operate the organization by the guidelines in their mission statement. Otherwise, it’s the board’s responsibility to rewrite the mission statement and take some of the pressure away from the workers.


      1. Funny girl. Being a good board member is a full time job within itself. It’s funny how some people think it’s supposed to be for prestige only and they don’t have to get their hands dirty. Once we get them out of the way, and we work with cooperation of the head of the staff, it’s amazing what a-not-for-profit can accomplish. I still remember the first year I suggested we give out employee bonuses at a large state wide banquet and many board members thought that was going a step too far – but it’s paid off a thousand times over (it just means we have to raise more money because the staff works so very hard).


  19. Hello, TheGirl. I think I should be apologizing to you. You have a wonderfully creative blog here, and it deserves attention. There is no excuse for neglect, I’m afraid.

    I am also sad to hear that you were having a rough time. New York is a very fast paced city, and the level of energy required to live there is really impressive. In that regard, I’m glad you didn’t blow up at the woman who made a fool of herself over the phone.

    Finally, thank you for your attention to the explosion in West Texas. It was not far from where I live, and was on the local news. The pace of living down here is much slower, but the explosion came as a shock all the same. Sometimes, it seems even to us down here that daily life is accelerating beyond control.

    About your two reasons: Reason number one implies that enough money will enable anyone to put up with any amount of bullshit. However, a reconsideration of this assumption may yield practical and material gains.

    Thank you for maintaining this blog, and for putting so much effort into the things you do. I am light years away from any kind of publishable novel, though I do aspire to write one. In that regard, you have my respect.

    Additionally, if you do end up publishing the novel, I’ll find a way to get it. 🙂


    1. Hi Gaseimasha,

      No need to apologize as bad days/weeks happens to the best of us.

      I’m sad to hear that you live near the explosion site, but hopefully not too near to be affected or experience any loss.

      BS is BS and eventually no amount of money will compensate for it…so we just deal with it. And thank you for reading my blog (and inevitably putting up with me BS) and I’m glad I have a supporter in Texas!

      Love, TheGirl


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