A response to: Women’s Weapons of Seduction by Lily

strong black woman, the reporter and the girl, women weapons of seduction, female blogger, gender issues,

There’s something not quite right

with the theory presented that in order to get what we as women want, we must seduce. That despite whatever else we’ve got going on, we must use our womanly wiles to get to the top of the pile of whatever is being claimed today as not ours.

There’s something not quite right

with the theory that a smile and a rack will get any Sister (as a coalition of girls way) what she wants. Showing a rack and wearing an almost see your crack skirt …is apparently a no-no. On the other hand, a rack, a crack and a pair of sky-high heels– if you can walk in them, is a good thing. Brother (as a coalition of boys way), you do your half of the equation a disservice.

slut shaming, double standard, victim blaming, gender issues, the reporter and the girl, women weapons of seduction, SC Rhyne
Courtesy of shootingtruthbullets.wordpress.com

There’s something not quite right

with the theory that suntanned is better than snow-white…skin; that long hair is preferable to short, that any one thing is better than any other. In fact there’s something wrong with the theory that there is a certain “set” of criteria that is preferable as men’s choices as to what they want.

I think that you are mostly wrong in your universal theories SovietLover, and I suggest to you these things:

Rather than try to hide behind the broad label of what men want and what weapons women have just admit that what you want is a long-haired, sun-tanned, big racked, long-legged chick that can walk in 6-inch come rock this ass shoes.

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courtesy of healthcarehacks.com

Rather than a skin color of choice

One should consider that the pull of desire is not called out by tint or hue, but by warmth and the offer of love, and by the need for touch and to be touched that lives in all of us.

Rather than a hair length of choice

One should consider the heart of the wearer. Should my Sister wear a wig to remain “attractive” or stand proudly and bravely hairless during treatment because it is what it is? Fire in a woman’s soul is attractive.

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courtesy of http://www.mymajors.com

Rather than bemoan the fact that there may be lipstick on your pillow

A brush of powder on your cheek, or the trace of her scent on your sheets. Embrace it as indication that you are not alone. Place a hand in the hollow left as your lover rises from your bed and feel the warmth that remains.

Love is natural. The package it arrives in isn’t always wrapped the way you think it will be.

Lily Lick

…Apologies if the size of my hands make your dick look small.

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Courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/66867324@N00/galleries/72157623946449956

http://lilylick.wordpress.com
http://www.lilylick.com

Nuff said, and I am S.C Rhyne, follow me on http://twitter.com/ReporterandGirl and http://facebook.com/TheReporterandTheGirl

Thank you all who emailed me your responses, I enjoyed reading your articles and I’ll gladly share any links to any one who posts it on their blog sites.

73 thoughts on “A response to: Women’s Weapons of Seduction by Lily

  1. I really enjoyed reading this post. I felt that it well thought out, and you were able to express your view points. What struck me the most was the image of the two women side by side, one covered in traditional clothing and the other baring her top half. There is no excuse to treat anyone with disrespect, and it proves that regardless of how a woman is dressed that she can be assaulted. Thank you for your thoughts.

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  2. I dont believe that men loves that certain qualities or preferences of women’s hair, body or appearance. Honestly, men doesnt really focus on details. Smart men focus on personality and character of a women. Each mean has also theirnwon perfernces so it doesnt matter what you are. Like they say, there is always someone for somebody. Anyway, like this post and hope whoever is in cancer treatment feel beautiful because they are:)

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  3. while physical traits are seductive in both genders, the notion that either one ONLY wants those physical traits they find appealing is preposterous. All else being equal, i would choose the more physically attractive woman over the less, the key phrase being all else being equal. if there is a woman with a rockin’ bod who can’t tie a pair of shoes, can’t understand the difference between their, there, and they’re, and thinks multiplication is soley a sexual thing, i will take the less glamorous, perhaps a bit overweight because she loves food a little too much, giggly and cute personality every day of the week. The world is too small, and has too many real problems to be that involved with someone shallow and uninteresting. Kudos on the article, i really enjoyed reading it.

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  4. Women’s right’s have advanced to a new peak, which you point out in a clear point of view. In which, i’m glad you have brought to light about the views of women. The new modern landscape of women in which more choices have opened up more choices for women. Fashion, employment, and society women have a strong influence among all these things. Has a male I do sometimes feel a bit intimated by women. All they have to do is report sexual assault, harassment or rape. Which has caused me to avoid any kind of interpersonal relationships, which is a common feeling among-est a lot of men, I’m a supporter of women’s liberation before any accuses me of being sexiest; and my gender has done a lot of harm to women which we do have a lot a to answer for there.

    But, don’t blame all of us for these actions there those of who try to stay out of your way. Don’t give the undressing eye, avoid watching degrading porn, and not being an over ass hole. Which is becoming more common I think.

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  5. It is interesting as I age how much I realize the value that is hidden beneath the skin.
    It matters not how many wrinkles I have to a baby who needs a hug.
    The sad, homeless man may comment on my “beauty” but if I don’t bring him lunch he will still be hungry.
    My mode of dress will not stop the killing of innocent children in Sudan.
    My fragrant perfume will not prevent a puppy from getting kicked or a kitty from being drowned.
    We have become far too infatuated with things which are temporal and have neglected items of eternal worth.
    I look at the Kardashians and pity them. They know not what real beauty is.

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  6. Reblogged this on Single Parents of Texas Unite – A site to educate, empower and unite single parents and commented:
    It is interesting as I age how much I realize the value that is hidden beneath the skin.
    It matters not how many wrinkles I have to a baby who needs a hug.
    The sad, homeless man may comment on my “beauty” but if I don’t bring him lunch he will still be hungry.
    My mode of dress will not stop the killing of innocent children in Sudan.
    My fragrant perfume will not prevent a puppy from getting kicked or a kitty from being drowned.
    We have become far too infatuated with things which are temporal and have neglected items of eternal worth.
    I look at the Kardashians and pity them. They know not what real beauty is.

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  7. Agree with you completely. However, on high levels in business it’s an advantage to be a women. Sad but true. Why? Because men on high levels see it as a “break” to have a meeting with a woman. If she is good looking they don’t believe she is intelligent. And when they discover she is they almost do anything she asks for. And it’s the same in all countries.

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  8. Great piece. I love the two images of the women, sort of says it all. I wonder why we don’t talk about male wiles? I’ve seen men use their height, size or other physical attributes to manage or manipulate a business situation. It s equally unattractive on them.

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    1. True..interestingly enough I was having a conversation with a male friend yesterday about relationships, and I asked him about his past relationship….he kept bringing it back to ” Well, I know how to have great sex and make a woman feel good…” and “I’m bigger than average…” It was like he kept insisting that it wasn’t the sex, which I agree, but men have more fragile egos they really do think its about the package, when a woman leave that’s the first thing they think about….

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    2. Thank you Debra, you do good work. Studies show (can’t quote them though) that upper management positions are easier to attain for tall men. Subconsciously we expect them to be more powerful and in control and we (society) see them as more attractive. There’s some deeply ingrained things going on out there …:)

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  9. I loved this piece, I think it’s spot on. I’m a guy and very much a guy so not completely privy to what the other side thinks despite the attempts of the feminine demonination in my circle doing their best to fill me in. I just don’t think I’ll ever fully know just as I don’t think a woman could ever fully know the mentality of a guy. But I’d like to break it down further.

    I hear a lot, and find myself talking about, the mentality of a man or a woman. But in reality there isn’t a “the mentality.” There are many. I don’t think I’ve met a single guy who thinks exactly the same on the matter.

    I’ve known men who, if the world was run by them, would have it that only buxom blondes with large fronts and backs who never spoke but only did what was asked were allowed to roam freely and all others kept on an island. Pretty shitty if you ask me, but real. That view and similar ones do exist. But they are the very, very extreme.

    Most guys I know, while very much appreciating certain characteristics in women who may walk by, would not want to commit to a relationship of more than a night with them, and really, while they may toy with the idea, wouldn’t actually want that even. They want a person, someone who has their own interests, their own goals, their own opinions. Someone real who will be there with them and support them in what they want to do and who wants to do the same for them.

    Most guys are looking for a woman who could be their best friend, not making them feel bad about their thoughts an expecting the se in return. Two against the world and all that.

    So, sorry to ramble, your post is extremely accurate for the majority of men. A woman who is willing to sleep with anyone, while I may have friends who are like that and yea they are my friends, is not someone most men want to spend the rest of their life with.

    A rack and a derrière my gain attention, flirts and plenty of other things – but not for long. Because if that’s what got the guy and nothing else then he’s the kin of guy who’s going to be dropping you and looking for the next interesting rack he can find with a, “but hey, yeah, you can totally still come over and do me sometimes (smile)”.

    A real smile makes the face, real as in genuine and most men will agree. Being yourself will get you the farthest with any guy that matters. That and respecting them and demanding they respect you the same in return.

    Okay end of ramble, signing off. Again great post.

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    1. Yeah, I think every women wants to be respected but some women don’t know how to get that respect. So they make the mistakes of falling too fast or too hard or too sweet, and then they become “that chick”

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    2. Love this point. Guys think differently, but most guys, in one way or another, just want someone to be their friend. All the other physical features can turn heads, but that’s not much to keep them wanting to stay…

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  10. I enjoyed this post. Men tend to focus on those key female attributes… It’s what draws their attention first. But personality is what makes them stay. That’s perhaps the difference.

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    1. When we interact with people (men and women) I think we make up what their partner will look like, be like etc. We predetermine on the “looking good” scale in our own heads what to expect, then when we meet them … they’re not at all what we envisioned. If they’re not “as good” we wonder what on earth else they do … or did … to get the other. But whatever it is they have … it fits the other’s needs. Love, attraction and desire — one of life’s glorious mysteries.

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  11. Good blog…
    I may be different, I look at what society classes as a beautiful woman and don’t bat an eyelid..
    Here is why:
    http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/07/12/define-beauty-in-a-world-where-we-are-told-what-beauty-is/

    My partner was a model, she is the bottom picture of “What society says is beautiful” But that photo is photpshopped😀
    I see many woman through what does, and most are just false..
    You only see and feel beauty when you speak to it..

    Great blog!!!

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      1. Totally..
        I grew up with that false stuff when my partner was a model, some of the people she hated and had to be with made me sick. Not even beautiful on the outside..Like sticks with pants on😀

        Shaun x

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  12. Brilliant! What can I say…I shared it everywhere. Much as I hate to admit it, there are many studies that show how we, as humans, make judgement in the blink of an eye and those are usually based on appearance. We all know the heart resides inside, yet it is the least visible and most protected! Hopefully…one must always protect the heart.:)

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    1. Yep, I agree. It is human nature to judge its how our brain works, we like to put things into categories….and it takes a huge effort to work against that. Thanks for sharing I loved this post too!

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    2. Thanks for sharing Jacqui. I read Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink” a while back and was surprised to find out that most times when we make those judgements we do it so quickly that we don’t even know we’ve done it! It’s that fast! It’s so much fun to explore those feelings of ” I like this person and I don’t even know why” … when we click with someone we can almost hear it locking into place and the only ones that need an explanation are the ones looking in. And they’re not going to get one … Hah!

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  13. Beautiful!!! “Fire in a woman’s soul is attractive” love!! Absolutely! Great post. Summarises how I feel about men…I am always less than good enough to what they seem to want. Argh.

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  14. Many men look for the qualities of Lily however, most men really don’t think about the length of the hair. Men are first attractive by looks, but after that you are searching for something that attracts their needs, and I am not talking about sex. Being sexy is not about you can land the other in bed. Sexy is who you are in the eyes of the beholder.

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  15. Desire, fire, love. Those are inside traits. Men are wired differently. They think differently. Even a local pastor once said in one of his sermons, “Women and cars are on the top of our awareness.” Contrast that with something one of my first coaching mentors said to me, “Women have power. Not from just being sexy. Men go to war for us, fight for us. That is power.” Contrasts eloquently communicated in your post – thanks.

    over from LinkedIn group BHB

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  16. This has turned into a very interesting discussion. Love the comeback and all the comments that followed. I love knowing that while my husband and I are attracted to each other’s physical qualities, it was our spirit, shared interests and mutual thoughts on how people should treat each other that truly attracted us to each other. We are most certainly best friends and I couldn’t imagine a “real” relationship without that.

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  17. Interesting, and passionate post. To be honest in my experience women have NEVER needed to use ‘feminine wiles’ to get their way or get ahead. That is ONLY in my experience and I would not pretend differently. However,I do know of women who have got out of traffic fines by use of seductive smiles and such, and who have gone for a higher grade by showing a certain style. But the policeman who might be affected is not the same kind of man as the office colleague, and the charm defending a dissertation is part of nervousness. No serious man would be hypnotised by such, but every serious man should, and can understand it is natural and happens sometimes, it is just slight nervousness and perhaps knowledge in certain situations, but not a general rule – in my humble opinion.

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  18. I really liked this post. I think it would be great if people really did look past looks. I notice so much of our society in America revolves around image. I think its pretty sad.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m glad you liked my post about the comet.😉

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