Guest Contribution: 4 Ways to Get a Second Date

dating, relationships, couple, happy, smiling people, couple bowling, the reporter and the girl

Getting back into the dating game can be rough if you’ve been out of it for a few years (or decades). Maybe you once considered yourself a Romeo, but now you’re out of practice and not sure how to proceed. Plus, you know the dating rules have changed since the last time you were on the market. So how do you make sure you score a second date with a nice woman, next time someone piques your interest? Here are four ways.

1. Don’t Come on Too Strong

Many men who re-enter the dating scene again after a long break make the mistake of coming on too strong and scaring the woman away. She may be beautiful and amazing, but don’t keep telling her so over and over again. This will put you in “potential creepy stalker” territory in her mind right away. In addition, avoid:

  • telling her you could fall in love with her
  • planning a date that is too extravagant or too romantic
  • kissing her too deeply and too long when you say goodnight
  • lavishing her with overly expensive gifts

Instead, be polite, alert, and give her a small gift at the beginning of the date, or even before. Consider having flowers delivered to her office the day of your date to show her that you’re looking forward to the evening ahead.

2. Be a Good Listener

Another mistake men make on first dates is talking too much about themselves. While she does want to know certain things about you, she also wants you to know about her, and she wants to see if you’re a good listener. Make sure the conversation is two-sided and ask plenty of questions about her childhood, family, job, and hobbies.

3. Keep the Conversation Light

There’s an old saying that you should never talk about religion or politics in polite company. The same is true for a first date. Avoid discussing anything that could lead to potential arguments. Now is also not the time to talk about things that are too intimate, such as your most recent colonoscopy or your ex-wife’s cheating ways. Keep the conversation topics light and positive to make way for enjoyable conversation.

4. Pay for the Date

It may sound old-fashioned, but most of today’s women still expect the man to pay for the first date. Going Dutch on subsequent dates is perfectly okay, and if she really likes you, she may even offer to pay on future dates. However, you won’t get any future dates with her if you don’t pay for the first. Lack of paying shows a lack of consideration and general lack of manners on your part. Make her feel like a lady, and insist on treating her to a nice meal on your first date.

12 thoughts on “Guest Contribution: 4 Ways to Get a Second Date

  1. Only recently started dating again after my marriage ended. Had some pitfalls early. Much more success now.

    This is good advice. It’s so hard for guys, I think, to deprogram themselves after marriage. Everything feels weird and wrong.

    Thank you for trying to help us.


    1. Hey Matt,

      I’m glad you enjoyed this post and it resonated with you. Dating is hard at any stage, especially after ending a long relationship. But always remember the most important relationship you have is with yourself and to make sure that you are okay first before starting a new relationship.


      1. Dear ReporterAndGirl, I was looking for a way to send a general comment to your blog. I like most of the text posts, for their fresh and original point of view and quality of language. It is a pleasure following them. But the graphic design of the blog is a bit distracting for the reader. First there is this huge composite graphic on the very top, that always fills the entire screen. I assume it is made from single, artistic scetches, which are funny on their own. But they are much to much zoomed in, and appear so blurry that the reader instinctively takes a few steps back (to see it more from the distance). This generates a conflict with the readability of the fine blog texts than, because they should attract the reader to get a bit closer.
        My second point of complain are the many ad-like blog award banner right and below of the text. They again take up much to much space, and distract the reader attention away from the text (what would be a pitty). Your posts are the best prove of quality by themself, and don’t require any of these questionable awards.
        regards, Michael


      2. Hey Michael, Thanks for your feedback, I the header is blurry ( on purpose) but I was thinking about redesigning the website anyway. May I ask which browser you are using? As I posted he icons of the blog awards I’ve received, but definitely not any ads.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hi , thanks a lot for your response. I use Firefox Browser, on PCs, Laptops and on Android Tablets. About the design: I like the small cartoon showing the three people, which is shown just below the large composite picture on the very top. It is clear, and it does not dominate so much over the text.
        best regards, and wishes for many loyal readers,

        Liked by 1 person

  2. 1-check
    4-check ( no punt intended on this one)

    I should give dating advice also, you know when you are in a bar-disco, not hardcore tekno music, well hear the song and watch the girl, see her body movements while she hears the song. A song does tell a lot about people, an advantage for reading her correctly and then act on your intuition.

    Do we have a date?


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