A Proper Lady

I spent this weekend going through old crap and memories, until I found a book that I had not seen in years, it was an etiquette guide book, that was given to me when I went to a modeling school here in the city.

Now that I think about it, it was more of a finishing school.
finishing school, the reporter and the girl, S.C Rhyne, interracial blog, barbizon, modeling
The booked talked about etiquette over the phone, dinner parties, and other social interactions.

Thus, part of me began to wonder when did I stray from the path of becoming a proper young woman?

Somewhere in the last 15 years or so; I stopped playing piano and abandoned any aspirations of continuing a professional path with it, I started biting my nails and skin to the point of Dermatillomania, and this guy has a better posture than me:
hunchback, etiquette, the reporter and the girl, ScRhyne
The idea of course, of being a proper young lady, is that you are more desirable and attractive to the eligible bachelor.
loser, dating a loser, the reporter and the girl, interracial blogger, ScRhyne
No, not him. This guy:
eligible bachelor, dating, the reporter and the girl
A few years ago I liked this guy in my swim class, and I finally brought my best friend to…”check him out” and she gave her approval of him.

I remember at the end of class  after running a pretty good drill, I got on deck and gave him a “high 5”. Afterwards, my friend suggested that since I liked him, I should not have high-5’ed him as it was not lady-like.

Apparently, with D cups, shoulder-length hair, and hips to knock J-Lo of the deck, he’d associate me as “one of the guys”.

I did give him my number, and after that never saw him again.

Well, its never too late to improve yourself; from sitting up straighter to changing your wardrobe. But it was last night at a gala, when I realized why many women do not act like proper ladies, it’s because of… the men!


A colleague invited me to this formal event, where I was lead to my seat and he pulled it out for me. He offered to get my drink, and women and guests were served dinner first. Thus, it was a code of conduct that the men be gentlemen and serving to their lady partners.

I sure felt like a noble lady as even my table manners dramatically improved from:
poor table manners, bad etiquette, black woman eating, the reporter and the girl
pride and prejudice, formal dining, table etiquette, relationships, the reporter and the girl
It sometimes takes a small show of courtesy or respect to boost one’s esteem and consciousness. And to receive the same treatment in kind.

And whom you are with makes a difference; people treat you based on how your friend/partner treats you.

Whether its holding your coat or pulling our your chair — a waiter will show you an ounce more of respect when they see your partner doing the same thing — it screams: “She’s important!”

And it changes how you see yourself, and the expectations you have for yourself.

For now, I’ll read through that book, maybe there are some things I need to re-learn, and should come to expect for myself.

So, does your beau treat you like a proper lady?

39 thoughts on “A Proper Lady

  1. Great post 🙂 Decorum and manners, that’s what is missing. It’s just a pendulum swing from the ‘let it all hang out’ generation. Soon we’ll be back in Cotillion and white gloves will once again be all the rage (or, is that red satin ones, I can’t recall…) 😀


  2. Darlink! So true. Too much is being shared today and I think we’re all too comfortable with things we shouldn’t be comfortable with sometimes…Not that I would want to go back to the Mad Men era, however, being a lady and treated like one is nice. However, for everything we do (or don’t), there is a price 🙂


  3. I wonder how many young men know to stand up when a lady enters the room? I am definitely going to remind my kids of these courteous but important gestures that are so often forgotten now! #dontletchivalrydie


  4. Married 12 years and he still opens the car door for me and opens doors in general. pulls out chairs and he used to buy flowers for no reason, but the only reason he doesn’t anymore is cash flow. If he could I know he would. All and all, my best friend.


  5. Ahhh the old days of etiquette. As John burped at the breakfast table this morning, I longed for when we first met and wouldn’t think of belching in front of each other. 🙂


      1. He is, but he doesn’t expect me to be able to walk across the room with a book on my head or spend my afternoon arranging flowers. Unless I want to.


    1. Thanks! I try to remind my self of posture a little more often especially since I spend a lot of time in front of a computer…but yeah, lol I should start taking better care of myself!


  6. Oh I can relate! I spent my formative years in exclusive Catholic girls schools. We were taught grace, manners, etiquette and proper morals. (I think the nuns needed new recruits). As soon as I was out and into the real world of going to university, I just made myself grow into the real me. Of course, the manners and proper morals were still there. The only thing I lost was to be always in long skirts and long sleeved collared shirts and neckties. 🙂


  7. Lordy, but that is interesting, notice I said interesting not that I’m interested. Guess I’ll stick to writing. Glad you liked the excerpt of “Murder Sets Sail – Chapter 1” on writingiam.wordpress.com. Hope to hear from you again soon.


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