Starting From Scratch

chocolate cake, flourless cake, cake from scratch, salted buttercream frosting, interracial relationships, heart break, comfort food, coconut ice cream

Hello World!

This summer had been unremarkable to say the least, well unremarkable at home; around the world the streets are still colored in blood and justice.

But nonetheless, the last few weeks I’ve been thinking about making a real effort to start over. See, in the last year — I’ve lost a lot, from a relationship to weight to a career; and I made headway in some departments, but I still feel bogged down in my new environment.

It probably has something to do with the fact that both the reporter and I were thinking the same thing for 2014, and decided to get new jobs in the same field.

wtf stamp, what the fuck, what the hell, the reporter and the girl,
Courtesy of

Hhhmmmm…Well that was surprising to say the least.

Anyways, new job, new bullshit, new goals; but really hard to argue that I’m making a fresh start when I bump into the same old faces or have to deal with same bullshit at work.

It’s like running in place.

Now I’d really like to change jobs, and even move somewhere…far. Like Europe.

Thus, I’m hoping some of my European readers can help me out and point me where to look. I’ve been wanting to visit for a long time, but I think the idea of moving and starting over there is plausible.

Like the yummy chocolate cake that I made last night, I like to do things from scratch. When I first saw “Jon” a few months ago, I didn’t say a word to him, and neither did he to me. Despite the fact that we were forced to sit next together during a public presentation (so obviously it would have been rude to kick him in the balls in front of a hundred people).

My friend says it was cold-hearted, but I’m hardcore when it comes to erasing the past and the ills it brought me. Even if it  means moving or running.

Listen, I’m sick and tired of taking the train and looking up at his old station where we used to meet up. I don’t even think I’ve been down to that part of Brooklyn in over a year.

So is it better to start from scratch? Or should I just scrape the charred pieces off and eat my cake?

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This is a dense and gooey chocolate cake. Very is to make and its gluten free (no flour!)

1 ounce semisweet chocolate, chopped          1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup butter                                                  3 eggs, beaten
3/4 cup sugar                                                  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

I played around with the ingredients, taking away an egg, and adding a little more chocolate and less sugar. The result was a soft cake but with a stronger chocolate taste, almost to the point of having a slightly bitter aftertaste. This was fine as I paired it with salted buttercream frosting and coconut ice cream!

  1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease a cake pan, and dust with a little cocoa powder.
  2.  Melt chocolate and butter. Remove from heat, and stir in sugar, cocoa powder, eggs, and vanilla. Pour into prepared pan.
  3. Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. Slices can also be reheated for 20 to 30 seconds in the microwave before serving.

Salted Buttercream Frosting

1 cup confectioner’s (powdered) sugar                          2 tablespoons milk or cream

1/2 cup butter (salted variety)                                        1/2 teaspoon coarse sea salt

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Mix together sugar and butter. Mix on slowly until well blended and then increase speed to beat for another 3 minutes.

2. Add vanilla and cream or milk and continue to whisk for s few minutes until you reach the desired consistency. You can add more cream or milk if needed.

3. Sprinkle with sea salt after spreading over cake.

40 thoughts on “Starting From Scratch

  1. I certainly like the idea of starting over, but don’t know that location is really the cure that it sometimes presents itself as. There is a reason that they call that stuff that you take on a plane baggage.
    However, if you do make a fresh start in a distant land, remember to tell yourself (constantly) to do things differently. From the mundane (shopping for food) to the ridiculous (bungee jumping) including all the strangeness in between.
    Good Luck.


      1. Oh, you weren’t a downer you made an excellent point about having to check ourselves to really understand what the solution is to the problems…instead of running away.


  2. I would say… Do what is in your heart not in your mind out of fear or hurt… Bloom where you are is something that was shared with me recently as I would like to move to another place perhaps in a distant land.. Might as well be gorgeous as I do so! 🙂 Just a thought what ever you do I am sure you will do it with a smile as beautiful you!


  3. Though starting from scratch sounds amazing it, in reality is a tough thing to do. Whatever you decided at least you are thinking positively look to the future and not at all the mush that happened yesterday. Hope it works out for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi MudPileWood, I am positive about it, because there are always new opportunities you just got to look out for them. I’m just having trouble getting that plane ticket.


  4. Agree a new location isn’t always the answer – but if being where you are is just not that much fun any more, why not make a change? It doesn’t have to be forever. Not sure if you’re thinking of the UK, but I love living in London – great, vibrant city. Dreadful weather though. Really – just dreadful.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sometimes running away is absolutely the right thing to do. I only moved to the opposite side if London – well actually went back home to south of the river but it was good to jettison the old associations and reminders.

    I’m now living a life that’s completely different firm the one I thought I’d have and planned but you know what I’m happy. I’m saying this with the perspective of 12 years though…

    You know what they say the best revenge is life we’ll go out there and live your dreams.


      1. It was because of a man. It so often is. At the time I was very unhappy but with hindsight he wasn’t a bad man just not the right one. We didn’t want the same things and were never going to make each other happy. I was unwell and one morning I woke up and realised he was part of the problem and not the solution. In the end I was the one with the guts to walk away. I spent a long time being sad for what I’d thought/ hoped we could have had though. Lots of broken dreams but you get new ones…


      2. Sigh….same here. Always because of a man. It’s true that it hurts when you’re the one who makes the decision….I think it hurts even more than being dumped. Because by being dumped you get anger thrown in there to “hide” the sadness. But here-here to new dreams!


      3. Thanks for the tid-bit, London is sounding very attractive. But I’m just nervous about the initial get off the plane, and setting up roots…including a visa!


  6. First off, let me just say you’re killing me with this chocolate cake pic …2nd, you’re a talented woman, far to accomplished to “start over” — so transplant, plant the seed of inspiration in your mind, tweak, fine tune, adjust to living life — and say no to life living you. I look forward to your continued writing from wherever in the world choose to do it.


    1. Hi Lily Lick, my kitchen is a dangerous place to be after dark, lol! Thanks for your encouragement, I’m glad not everyone thinks I’m crazy for wanting to “reboot”. Did you ever have to start over?


      1. Oh yes, sometimes by choice, sometimes not — one is not easier than the other though — getting thru comes from making a plan — believing in it — and sticking to it. Sometimes we just know what we know about ourselves — if you know you need to do it. Then you know the answers 🙂


  7. America’s too small for you. The bread in France? Unbeatable! The French? Unbearable!

    Tuscany has lots of great wine. Nice and red! With lots of cheese and cured ham, historic sites, religious buildings on mountains and no TV that bothers to speak English.

    England? You can rely on unpredictable weather, people who are polite and very kind but in some cases are reserved and might seem a bit daunting. But they will care for you.

    I like Poland a lot. The food’s appalling. Most of Poland seems to want to live in England. Most of the world wants to live in England. A universal language thing perhaps. Or the lure of fish and chips.

    Or you could try Asia. I like Thailand a lot.

    You’ve got tremendous talent, my daughter likes the look of your cake recipe and my philosophy is that one only gets one life and starting from scratch is potentially a success. Unless it’s a disaster. Or a mixture of both. We all wish you the best!

    Hugh, Midori and Annabel

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Hugh,

      I appreciate your words of encouragement, it means so much to me. I actually have a friend who packing up and heading out to Asia as we speak. He decided to start over too. It would potentially be cheaper to move to Asia or Caribbean…hhmmmm more on that! Could you tell me more about living in the UK? Bridget Jones Diary-style!?


  8. I’ve been to a number of places around the world and all of them have their ups and downs. I would move to Australia if I could somehow convince the rest of my immediate family to come with me. The world is now too small to truly start over, but spending time elsewhere does help to reset your priorities.


      1. I loved the people, easy going lifestyle, reasonable cost of living, and abundance of outdoor space. Plus the beer is great. So all I would need is my family to be content.


  9. I’m not dealing with the kind of drama you are, but drama is drama. Even when it’s totally different, it’s all the same. We don’t need that in our live. Starting from scratch sounds good, but you have to have the right mind-set. You can’t run from problems but you can chase down solutions. Movie to another country is only one option. Explore them all.
    I don’t hate my job, but I keep thinking it’s not where I belong anymore. I don’t want to leave, but I think a change may be in order.
    Feel condifent in whatever choice you make. If you’re unsure, it might not be the right way to go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Toi, I will make sure to explore all my options, but its tug between my rational mind and that foolish heart of mine. Maybe I should go with my brain, as the other got me in trouble…lol Whatever my choice I will look forward to it!


  10. I am sorry I missed this entry when it posted. The end of August despite being around my birthday were the crap hitting the fan weeks for me. I know the world was worse but for me it was what it was. I didn’t get clear until almost the end of September.

    I understand cutting old ties and burning bridges, sometimes it is the only way to live. I think people expect softer hearts from women and can’t comprehend when we don’t forgive or forget. I haven’t read all the comments but I’m sure some of your readers typed that you can only do what it good for you and no body else.


    1. Hi J.C Henry, no apologies needed, as you can see sometimes life just gets in the way….but I’m glad you agree about the starting over and cutting old ties. Sometimes the past really does need to be “contained”. I hope things are going better for you now.


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