Let The Good Times Roll!

goodtimes

And the bad ones….drop?

Wow, another crazy last few weeks for me, and I don’t even know where to begin…I guess the beginning.

I have been working for the city government for the past year in a small office of 3 employees which has slowly grown to 7. However that is not to say there hasn’t been turn-overs. We rely heavily on volunteers/interns and since I started, about 4 permanent staff have came and left; and in terms of time, I have the most seniority.

I apparently have a knack for sticking out tough situations (see Chapter 16. Frenemies) and workload juggling. Alas, it seemed like I may have had a budding romance; a gentleman, whom we will call Dave (in no way similar to his real, unique name) is also public servant but works in a different division, and since day one has been flirtatious.

According to my male coworkers, he was very flirty — I didn’t notice. And for the last few months, Dave has been taking great strides to be available for our small office…whether its calling in to check if an order arrived, or making a visit to try and fix technical problems we may have. I always thought he was a hardworking individual who paid attention to all offices like this….

Anyway, I got to know him and he seemed cool– he had mentioned he liked working out, and did I mention I like working out? So on one Sunday, a couple of weekends ago, he met me at my house at 11 a.m sharp and we drove in his SUV to the gym.

Problem #1 Off the bat, I noticed that it was taking us quite a while to drive down the main road before turning off to another main road. “Oh, you’re gonna keep going straight” I tell him. And he replies, “alright, I didn’t know where I was going.” This led to a whopping increase of 20 miles per hour (mph) to 25 (that is 33 kilometers per hour to 40). So, this is really fucking slow.

There’s no traffic. Its Sunday morning. And a drive that I can do in 25 minutes, has now taken almost 10 minutes just to get to the off ramp of the expressway that’s like a mile from my house.

So…..45 minutes later we get to the gym. And no…even when we had gotten to the off ramp of the expressway, where the speed limit is 40 and people are going 50– because they don’t want to be rammed from behind– he faithfully followed the speed limit of the residential zones.

Problem #2 No motivation. Guys, no girl likes a quitter. Now I know folks have different interests and hobbies etc…and one thing may motivate you more than something else. But when you’re out with a fellow or gal you like, you better put in some decent amount of effort to show an interest in their interests.

Now this ain’t no yoga class: its boot camp. This means jump roping for a minute straight, followed by 20 push-ups, followed by chair jumps, followed by 2 sets of jump squats, followed by sprints…etc you get the point. There are breaks during class, and anyone is more than welcome to sit out and take an extra break. Dave sat out and down after the first 20 minutes — for the rest of class.

At first he complained of dizziness and of course he should sit and I offered him water. I had introduced him around earlier, so other classmates went up to him from time to time and asked how he was doing and offered him anything; but he sat down for most of the remainder 40 minutes. At one point, he got up to do chair jumps, but that’s a waste. After starting exercise, once you sit down for that long and let your heart rate drop so low, it’s hard to do even one set.

Problem #3 He didn’t shower afterwards. Dude, I know you only worked out for 20 minutes, but you still poured sweat. You were told to bring a towel and a change of clothes and shower slippers.

Problem #4 THE SLOW FUCKING DRIVE ON THE WAY BACK! He admitted it was so he can spend more time talking to me. Well, had we gotten to gym earlier, we could have talked while we warmed up on the treadmill or did some partner stretching.

Partner Stretching:

From injuryfix.com Exercise is Fun!
partner stretching
From yogini.net.ru Assume the Position!

Problem #5 He’s lonely. We did talk and I fed him some soup. But when he told me about himself…living alone, and spending most of his time online, on computer games, at work, and not having any real friends. I summed up that he’s trying to fill a void somewhere. I live alone, and spend alot of time at work, and on the computer too, with my lovely blog family. But I also try to make time to socialize (I hang out alot at the gym) and get drunk with friends after work and few weekends drink responsibly with friends after work and on a few weekends. I’m also looking to pursue other hobbies that will take me out there, but time and money are constraining me now.

Problem #6 RED FLAG! I did call him the day after and he complained of soreness, and asked for a nurse to come over (me). We talked here and there over the few weeks and ironically, on Friday, I called to see how he was doing. Turns out that he injured his foot and had been home on bed rest for the last couple days. He started out the conversation stating, “I need a nurse, will you be my nurse?” Now, honestly when he told me that he wasn’t feeling well, I thought it was a cold or something because his voice sounded off. Now in hindsight, I’m pretty sure he was drunk. After I had redirected the conversation to talk about other things like work and the hectic week, he came back to say, “so what time are you coming over?”

Me: “I didn’t say I was coming over tonight.”

Dave: “Oh you didn’t? I thought you said you were coming over tonight, I need a nurse, are you coming over?”

Me: “Dave, I think you need doctor, you seem like you need more help than a nurse can provide.”

Dave: ” No, I already took one of those Oxycontin pills for the swelling, but I need a nurse, what time will you come over? I need you to be my nurse.”

And after three minutes of asking for a wet nurse I finally (politely) hung up.

Problem #7 This guy has too many problems. Obviously, the last thing I need is one more.

So, no budding office romance for me. But I kept an open mind until I ran the other way after Friday night’s call. So, with everything that happened in the last two years I can say I learned something. Ladies, pay attention to those Red Flags!

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@ReporterandGirl

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