Who says that you can’t sleep with your best friend?
Well if you’re not attracted to him or her, or have been friends since the first grade, then yeah…its probably weird. But, the best partners also make the best friends. This isn’t a PSA to put all your potential partners in the friendzone, but are you someone who “gives” in a relationship, especially when times are tough?
I have a male friend of mine, who has been hit with hard times.
*Dave* separated with his live-in girlfriend about two years ago, and moved out with his older daughter, but has a younger daughter with the old GF. In a few months he got back on his feet and met a nice girl and they started seeing each other, as long distance partners and they were generally happy!
Unfortunately, rough times hit Dave soon after that, between a job loss and a livid custody battle for the younger daughter in court, it seemed like for the past year that he was going through one obstacle after another. Like literally, every other month, something had happened.
One can only imagine what kind of toll this takes on someone. And not just that person, but his/her support network.
So ask yourself, when times are rough and you need support– who do you go to? Usually a best friend to talk to or cheer you up. Friends are great for giving you emotional support when you need it, giving encouragement, love, heck even money!
But the important part of friendship is when things are really down– they are there. Calling to check up on you and see what they can do for you. They “give” during a time when you can’t “give” anything in return, nor do they expect anything in return.
This is the important aspect of true friendship that I believe is missing from many relationships. Each partner should be willing to “give” as much as they want to “take”, but how many are willing to give, if there is nothing to receive?
When many of us think about dating and relationships, a lot of the times we view it as to how we can benefit or what we will get out of it. Too a certain extent is fine; you should be with someone that adds value to your life and not just drama. But how many of us think about what we could give in return?
So in this view, you can see that my friend Dave, has been emotionally stressed out and drained with getting his life back together. Right now, its hard for him to give. Its not his fault, he really does have serious problems to focus on; but nonetheless its not fair to the current girlfriend.
A couple of weeks ago, I would have said, “Its over, besides there’s so much crap going on, that he can’t prioritize you. So leave.”
But then I started singing this meme on my FB page:
Wow, what a hypocrite I am.
Obviously there’s loyalty in friendship as there should be in relationships. So when things are down, sick, poor, or whatever a true friend or partner will stick it through until its fixed. As long as they both want to fix things. Not just throw it away and find a new one. However, for those of you who are “receiving” a lot and not “giving” much in return, appreciation goes a long way. And when you’re ready to give, give heartily again, as there was a time when you needed it most.
So, have you ever been in a relationship where you felt like your partner was not being a good friend? Or that maybe you were the one giving but not receiving?
Tell me your thoughts!
This week, has been one filled with a slew of family emergencies, luckily for me and my loved ones, all of the bad situations had the best outcomes, i.e everyone came home safe and sound. Thank you to my friends and family for your support!