Starting Over

starting over, the reporter and the girl, reset button

A long time ago, I decided it was time to start over. Single and jobless, it was a chance to sprout a new leaf after being burned –I had nothing left. And from the ground up, I did just that.

Two years later, I realized that despite starting a new job, new look, and after a few personal accomplishments (published author, successful blogger, lost weight, etc…) that I was on the right track. For a while I was, but I still felt stagnant.

I had explained why I quit my job and not being respected there. And despite my circle of family and friends, whom I love and I know love me, I don’t have a reason to stay in NYC.

Thus, with no one and nothing to convince me otherwise, I decided to leave. And it took me the better part of 2015 to figure out how, but as of January 2016, I will be a new resident in England.starting over, new life, the reporter and the girl, S.C Rhyne, interracial blog

This is one of my saddest goodbyes to everyone I know, it really wasn’t until Thanksgiving, my last holiday dinner here, that I realized there are many people I won’t see for a few years. Granted, I don’t see much of those folks everyday, but it will still feel hard not to be able to text them and make plans for a drink on a whim.

So, in 2016 as I did in 2014, I will be starting over again. I have no one nor do I know anyone in the UK, so it is a true start from scratch. Again, from the ground up.

Packing light, starting small, and hopefully I will make it big from there.

I will still blog weekly, and keep writing. However, the next few weeks, my postings may be sporadic as I have a month to “close out” my personal things in NY and pre-plan some things for the UK. For example, tomorrow I have my biometric appointment; as a “foreigner” I have to submit to finger printing and background checks, lol. Then I have more paperwork to submit for housing and loan applications. I decided to pursue a postgraduate degree as well…so lots of fun preparing for that too.

Everyone has to start over at some point, whether you’ve gotten out of a relationship, job, school, or town. However, for most of us — starting over wasn’t voluntarily. This move is voluntarily for me, but in a way I felt that it wasn’t because I sick and tired of being sick and tired. But today, after talking with a friend, who admired my “go-getter” spirit. I told her the plain truth:

Quitting and leaving is the hardest decision I made to date. Β Yes, it sounded so cool that if I get a job, which would sponsor a visa etc…but I soon realized how hard that would be and if I wanted to make a change I had to take a risk.

So with a plan, but having more “hope” than a “solid yes” I quit, went two months without a paycheck, used my credit card liberally before finding work again, and just when I decided my dream was a waste and I should turn back and get a 9 to 5 job — I learned I was going.

These last six months have been tough, but like I told my friend, my only regret was not quitting my job sooner and starting the application to leave in September instead of January. But alas, it’s here now and I am gone.

So when have you had to start over? How did you make it through?

I’d like your advice or tips.

Tell me @ReporterandGirl or on Facebook, or G+. If you have a picture or inspirational meme on this subject, share them with me on pinterest!

62 thoughts on “Starting Over

  1. I wish I had some advice for you…but I think you will do fine nonetheless. There will be good times and probably frustrating times ahead, but you will come through it–and there will probably be lots of stuff to blog about. Good luck with the new place. Explore, enjoy, meet and truly live.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I spent 3 weeks in London in 2014 and made some good friends in that short time who I am still in touch with. I’m sure you will make friends fast. You mentioned in prior posts that you wanted to pursue a doctorate degree. Why not do that in England? You can get one quicker there than in the U.S.

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  3. I spent 3 weeks in London in 2014 and made friends I am still in touch with. You’ll make friends fast. Have you considered pursuing a grad degree while there? It’s quicker than in the U. S.

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    1. Hi Kim, I’m so sorry, but it looks like your comment went to my spam. Yes, I am currently pursuing a postgrad degree here. Culture is a little wierd and I do not go out much. But I’m meeting folks.

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  4. That’s so exciting! Scary but exciting. I’m looking to do something similar next summer (though staying in the US) so I especially can’t wait to hear how things go for you with such a big change. It sounds like an amazing adventure πŸ™‚

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      1. I’m from Oklahoma, and I’m currently in my home state. I would like to move back to the east coast (I did a couple of years of university on Long Island) or Pennsylvania, specifically Pittsburgh. Plans are still in the tentative stages right now.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. When I decided to move in with my now husband. I was super scared and tried to sabotage things so I could return to my comfort zone. I am truly greatful that my efforts didn’t work because then I would have never gotten to live tis life and become the person I am. It takes a lot of courage to push yourself out of the comfort zone. It is defiantly something I have not been doing enough of lately.

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  5. I don’t really have any advice, but I will pray that you are making the right decision and that you will be very successful in your new adventure. Safe travels and a very Happy New Year in a new land. You must do what you feel is right in your heart to do what is best for your soul. Take care and I will try to keep up with your new posts about your new start in life. πŸ™‚

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  6. Umm…I’m visiting England in summer/fall 2016 and have a slew of WP bloggers already on the itinerary to meet/get a tour from of their favorite spots in their locale – πŸ™‚ Happy to send links – πŸ™‚

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      1. a few of the bloggers I hope to meet visit when I go to England and/or ones I’ve already made some pre-plans with:
        Dreamwalkers Sanctuary – suedreamwalker.wordpress.com
        Daily Echo – scvincent.com (mum of Nick Verron πŸ™‚
        Nick Verron – nickverron.com;
        Greenbench Ramblings: greenbenchramblings.com
        Old School Garden: audaxdesign.org

        And a few new ones in Scotland/Ireland that I’m trying to get caught up on their posts and send a message to, once I know my travel dates/times and offer to buy coffee/lunch or ask if they would like to point me to their favorite things in their area – so far, I’ve also collected offers to view a whole bunch of locales as I (must) work myself east towards the coast of US, before hoppin’ across the pond! πŸ™‚ Cannot wait, though scrambling to free up as much time as I can to not have to ‘rush’ through the experience! πŸ™‚

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  7. Travel expands your mind — congratulations on taking a bold step in your life’s journey. You will do great, but it won’t be a breeze — the biggest challenges often provide the greatest rewards. I think you are doing the right thing — good luck!!

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  8. I have started over many times in my 41 years: after a divorce as a single mom at age 19, 6 years later another divorce with twice the kids, after graduating with a bachelor’s degree and moving to Dallas (which felt as far away as England), and most recently when I was laid off in January 2015.

    Keep moving. Make long term and short term goals. Remind yourself every day of the big picture and your motivation. Celebrate the small successes, even if it’s just paying the rent. Take chances and make new friends. Above all, take care of yourself: bubble baths, reading time, a long walk – whatever recharges your batteries.

    Good luck! I look forward to reading about your successes!

    Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t have any advice either. I am excited for you on this newest adventure. At least you are taking the blog with you even if it may become slightly more sporadic. I can’t wait to hear how the new surroundings treat you.

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      1. I moved here over eight years ago. As a child I knew I belonged in Europe (parents from UK and Sweden).What ever America was or wasn’t, it was not a fit for me. Research quickly narrowed it to France and when an accident forced me into early retirement I packed up and left. You may have trouble with this one but there has been no culture shock. It is as if I was always meant to be here. I did make a trip over about a year before moving with a backpack and rail pass. Beginning in Paris and working my way about. However there was really no question for me I need to be near the sea so I’m on The Mediterranean.

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  10. I did the same thing in reverse, left England and started over on a small island in the Atlantic, where I knew no one but my fiance. The best advice I can give you is to make as many contacts (friends!) as possible. From making new friends, I got a job, did some voluntary work, and even met someone who offered me work back in England when I came home. Enjoy every second! It’s an amazing thing to live and work somewhere far from home. It changes everything. Good luck! Jane x

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  11. Just take it as an experiment. However well or difficult your new start will be, there are always exit strategies. My own experience with the UK (in particular London) is that it is a really great place, if you have a firm task there, a job or a new relationshsip. Than London is perhaps the best place in the world to spend the remaining free 10% of your time, great entertainment, education, arts, museums, history etc. But without a fixed plan, it can also be the worst place in the world to get completely lost. One factor are the high living costs, which as much as I saw can push very educated people to accept odd jobs, just to pay the bills, and which take more and more of their life time and energy.
    We lived in the UK for 3 years in the mid 90s, and returned to Germany when I got the feeling that my career in science slowed down there, because at the same time we always had to spend more and more time organizing our life. But still, when I remember these 3 years: it was for sure the most exciting time of my life. It was an intense urban and cultural life. We felt as we lived in the very center of the universe. And the people are great, with an amazing sense of humor and good taste and laid back attitude. I wish you all the best for a smooth start in the UK.

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    1. Thanks Broken Radius! What you mentioned about high cost of living makes me nervous, but at the same time living in NYC, I kind of used to that. Yes, I will see it as an experiment to see what all the hype in my head was about!

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      1. It is quite far, about 1 & half by train, but my Church has a venue in London Bridge, I could put you in touch with Melvyn and his team, they would be willing to help I’m sure, let me know

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      2. Thank you Wayne, I’m all for making contacts and networking. Is Nottinghamshire near Cambrige? I visited there over the summer in 2007. My email address is reporterandthegirl at gmail dot com, so we can talk more offsite.

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  12. My family were not happy, nor were my friends! I guess I left England because I had been sad, the worst possible reason for doing it! Wow, London, I live there now, although I’m originally from the North. It’s an amazing city, you never run out of things to do or see. I’ve loved living here. Super expensive mind you, housing is massively expensive in comparison to everywhere else in the country, whether you are renting or buying. I loved America though, everyone is so friendly, food is so cheap, you can get a house for hardly any money at all! Whats not to like? Jane x

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  13. Good luck with your new venture. It’s scary to start over, especially when you know no one. And brave, but so worth it. You can only regret the things you didn’t do.

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  14. I started over this year, in a way, similar to you. I was made redundant and instead of finding a new job I decided to go back to uni and try freelancing for a while. My only advice is to understand thing will grow slowly so it’s important to enjoy the journey. Really embrace it, it’s such an adventure, I’m a bit jealous! Best of luck, I’m sure you’ll have a ball.

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