Hopefully, everyone has made it home safe tonight and is not out drowning from Tropical Storm Andrea. Here in the city, we received a flash flood warning and it was my cue to leave work.
The past week has been pretty focused for me; I’m starting to volunteer doing different things and finishing the manuscript for the novel. I scribbled down the last chapter today, and I spent the last two weeks just hand-writing on the trains. This weekend, I will put everything into one document and then begin the dreaded stage of every writer’s life…COPYEDIT!
Thus, I am looking for a Book Doctor or an Editor, and if anyone is interested, please get in touch with me at ReporterandTheGirl@gmail.com
Finishing TheReporterandTheGirl novel, is exciting and therapeutic for me as the memories of Jon and I are still fresh, and recounting the feelings and conversations from not so long ago does stir something inside of me.
This morning I impatiently waited for the bus to take me to work in the drizzle; I know because of the weather, transportation would be a little slow….but anyway, amongst the growing crowd of people in the Brooklyn streets, I saw his back under an umbrella holding the back of someone else closely as they walked North.
I say “him” even though I didn’t see his face; but his build, hair cut and color, even the shoes looked like Jon. Practically speaking, I know it’s NOT Jon because first off, this was early–like quarter to 9am, and Jon wouldn’t know “early” even if it smacked him in the head. He’s been blessed to be able to get ready in the mornings in less than 20 minutes and has a half-hour commute to/fro work. Work that starts at 10am, if he has to go straight to the office.
But I needed to see it. Even though it may not have been “it”. I’m not psychic, but I have been feeling some kind of way about life post-Jon. As you may remember April Fools Day was the last time we spoke. And around that time I had a dream about him.
The dream alternated between his apartment in New York City and his home out-of-state. I’m in his kitchen preparing lunch for him, and his friends and family are all around…just kind of milling about — like its some kind of gathering.
At one point, his friend comes up to me and asks me what I’m doing. I reply that Jon is out and when he comes back he may be hungry. He then says that I don’t have to do that, because he’s girlfriend will take care of it. There’s more to the dream, but the highlighting factor is that I never seem to come face to face with Jon.
I see him outside in the yard (when it switches to his home) or him walking out of the room…but nothing direct. A friend told me that’s significant because it symbolized that he was never there for me. And the remarks that his friend makes also symbolizes that there was no room for me in his life. Or least that I knew that.
But the thing that has been bugging me for the last two months is: has he found someone that he made room for in his life?
Again I’m not psychic, but I feel that’s true. I’ve been feeling that way for awhile and today I needed to “see it.” My feelings about it are weird…I don’t feel too sad, just defeated. Like I’m tired of fighting the whole thing. Just giving up…maybe accepting that the battle is over.
But at the same time when we got the flood warning, I felt a twinge of worry for him as he lives in a basement apartment and it could flood if it does rain hard tonight.
But again (sigh), I care for someone who wouldn’t once think about giving me a call for my Birthday. Hhhhmm….makes you wonder if karma exists.
On a brighter note, I have a guest posting coming out next week at DatingAdvice.com! Now, I’m far from a dating expert and I actually wrote this article like two months ago, when I was more feisty; but I hope you guys will enjoy it and show some love on their website.
Now one thing that I love about their site is that it is truly a dating site across the spectrum! They have diverse columnists dealing with traditional, same sex, and alternative relationships. So I’ll be posting the link up once the article goes live!
Thank You for your continued support of my blog and enjoy this wet (and wild?) weekend. The video for chapter 6 will also go live this weekend.
S.C Rhyne (TheGirl)
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